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Apparently Brad Pitt Couldn’t Stop Banging Russian Hookers

Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt after learning he was cheating on her with his sexy co-star, a well-placed source told The Post on Tuesday.

“She hired a private eye because she felt that he was fooling around with her on the set, and it turns out, he was. And that was the final straw,’’ the source said.

Pitt, 52, had been rumored to have been cozying up to his “Allied’’ co-star Marion Cotillard, 40, for months during the pair’s filming of the World War II drama in London.

The PI discovered that Pitt was cheating on his wife of two years with Cotillard — while also partying like a single guy on a mission, the source said.

“The atmosphere [off-set] was full of hard drugs and Russian hookers, and Angie was told Brad got caught up in it,’’ the source said.

(Page Six)

 

We all have those Russian hooker phases. You just wake up one morning and need to hit a line a coke out of a Russian hooker’s anus. Happens at least once per summer for most people so I won’t really bat an eye at this.

Here’s the thing, if you fall for someone and the way they act when you first met then you can’t be shocked and pissed when a decade goes by and they’re still behaving the same way. Angelina fell for a married guy who bangs Russian hookers. A precedent had been set like, day one. Brad Pitt is going to do Brad Pitt stuff regardless.

If anything, Angelina is the one that changed. I bet she was a straight up dick wrecker when they were humping on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the greatest documentary of our generation. Brad probably had to ice his genitals after a night with Angelina. Now she just breastfeeds refugees from Tibet while Brad is out banging that psycho chick from Inception.

Can’t even get mad at my boy, BP. Plus, he paved the way for a brand new ship in Hollywood, #Lesterlina.

 

Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you’re ready for #Lesterlina. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here.

TheLesterLee

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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