Angelina Jolie is reportedly divorcing Brad Pitt over his parenting style https://t.co/liTD4ObuaJ
— New York Post (@nypost) September 20, 2016
Soooo, I’m obviously next, right? Like, that’s obvious. I don’t want to sit here and say that I know more than everyone else but I mean, Angelina is clearly about to text me any minute now. I guess the only thing that’s shocking here is how long it’s taken for her to ditch Brad.
It’s a very coy move by Angelina Jolie to claim that Brad Pitt was a bad father and has substance problems. Nice job throwing the scent off the King Lester trail. Now no one will even suspect that you left him for me. You have to respect that. Brains and beauty. She has zero flaws.
#Lesterlina is the next big power couple taking over the planet. I’m pretty hyped, I mean, I’m free this weekend. I assume she’s on a plane heading to NY right now. I guess I have to scoop up a wedding ring asap.
You are all invited to our wedding. Unless she and I elope to Ibiza. Anything can happen, we’re a pretty spontaneous couple.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Lesterlina is the next hottest Hollywood couple. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here.