Andrew Luck’s Retirement Was Everyone’s Opportunity To Unleash Their Worst Takes

At age 29, Andrew Luck decided he could no longer destroy his body as he announced his retirement in the midst of the Indianapolis 3rd preseason game on Saturday night. He was promptly booed by fans as he left the field for the last time. Let’s put a pin in that for now.

Andrew Luck‘s body appears to be held together by chewing gum and vicodin. Add in his most recent ankle injury that doctors still to this day are having trouble identifying and it makes more sense for Luck to retire than continue to limp around in agony every day.

Internet tough guys swarmed to let us know they think Andrew Luck is a pussy for retiring early because sometimes you need to stand out on Twitter and will say any unpopular devil’s advocate opinion for a whiff of attention.

Ah yes, athletes aren’t allowed to have negatives thoughts or feelings because of the amount of money they make. I keep forgetting that.

I can’t sleep at night if I have stiff neck. Can you imagine how hard it is to sleep with a TORN ABDOMEN?

No one cares if you’re a cop or a teacher and your job is hard but you don’t make as much as NFL players. You don’t have Clay Matthews spearing you in half on 3rd and long. What part of working in a steel mill forces you to pee blood after you’ve been hit so hard that your kidney is lacerated.

Being tougher than an NFL player is a cool thing to pretend to be on the Internet, I reckon. Calling Luck a millennial because his body is broken is just screaming ‘LOOK AT ME’.

And as far as fans booing Luck… *whispers*… it doesn’t matter.

Just like certain people wanted the world to know how tough they are, an entire hoard of people wanted to the world to know how good they are by tweeting their disgust at the Colts fans for booing Luck.

Here’s the thing: you cannot dictate the way fans react to disappointment or good news. Kevin Durant tore his achilles against the Raptors and Toronto fans cheered. Huge opportunity to tweet that Toronto fans were trash and look at me, I’m morally good.

Buuut Toronto fans realized in real time that the Durant injury just ensured they were about to win their first title in franchise history. Of course they cheered. They weren’t happy that Durant’s career was in jeopardy. They just were glad their team was going to win.

No one in Indianapolis was thinking ‘Andrew Luck was an amazing quarterback and it’s a shame his career is coming to a close so soon’.

They were mad that he waited two weeks before the season started to make his announcement and he did it in the midst of a preseason game.

They weren’t booing because they hate Luck. It was because they love him. They know how special of a player he is and how much he affects the team’s win-loss record. It was simply bad timing.

I don’t live in a world where we condemn fans for split second cheering or booing. Sure, it’s not a good look and I certainly don’t condone their actions but to pretend like we don’t understand why they booed or to believe that we’re better than them is wild.

Just let Andrew Luck retire at 29 like we all wish we could. Hope that he gets healthy and can return to a normal life of, ya know, not peeing out blood. Any take outside of that is trying too hard.

Sign Up For The Deadseriousness Newsletter

Don’t worry, we don’t spam

Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

Leave a Reply