Amanda Knox Wants You To Pay For Her Outer Space-Themed Corny Ass Wedding

Amanda Knox, who is famous for murdering her roommate and getting away with it because she was attractive and the justice system is trash and it happened in Italy, which isn’t a real place.

Fast forward 12 years and Amanda Knox, the murderer, has found love and is getting married. Aw. Shout out to Christopher Robinson, a poet or whatever, who has just become used to sleeping with one eye open.

Here’s their creepy corny proposal video:

Reminder: in 2007, Knox killed a woman.

Now she is having a private wedding while also posting a very public registry as the couple is asking ‘friends’ to basically pay for the whole event.

I recognize that’s not super uncommon, especially in 2019 where everyone crowdfunds everything. But most people don’t commit homicide so this is a tad different.

Here’s what their registry says:

“Let’s face it, we don’t need any more stuff. What we do need is help putting on the best party ever for our family and friends!” writes the former American exchange student-turned-onetime-accused murderer on her wedding website.

“Whether you’re attending or not, all are welcome to donate to specific costs, or at a patron level,” says Knox and her author-poet beau, Christopher Robinson.

As a special treat, “Everyone who donates will receive a signed, limited edition copy of The Cardio Tesseract, our joint book of love poems, forthcoming from Alephactory Press,” the couple adds.

If someone put a gun to my head and said ‘you need to read The Cardio Tesseract’ or I’m going to pull the trigger’, I’d pull the trigger for them.

Reminder: Amanda Knox murdered a human being.

Here are some of the donation options on their registry:

Real quick, regardless of whether or not you choose to murder your roommate when you’re studying abroad, pay for your own fucking wedding and don’t beg your friends to donate $10,000 so you can have a sweet space wedding.

No one cares about your relationship more than you do. It’s not even close. It’s not our responsibility to care. It’s certainly not our responsibility to pay for glow in the dark star stickers and smoke machines and shit.

Just have a small cheap wedding if you can’t afford an extravagant one. Also—I cannot stress this enough—don’t murder people.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

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