aaron judge

Aaron Judge, the Best Player in MLB, Still Has Yet To Swing a Bat After Suffering a Wrist Injury….The Fuck is Going On?


Aaron Judge hasn’t swung a bat since July 26th when Kansas City Royals pitcher, Jakob Junis, hit him in the wrist with a fastball and it looks as if he’s not even close to stepping back into a batting cage thanks to Junis, a man who should be jettisoned into the sun as soon as possible.

With Didi Gregorius and Gary Sanchez set to return to the squad on Labor Day for their important west coast road trip against Oakland and Seattle, Aaron Judge can’t even use his right arm at the moment.

Judge is the best player in baseball.

He is the biggest bat in the Yankees lineup. It’s no coincidence that this team fell off a cliff when Judge went on the DL. The difference between starting Aaron Judge in right field and Shane Robinson is the difference between 1991 Point Break and the 2015 Point Break remake. Aaron Judge is Patrick Swayze. Shane Robinson is whoever the fuck is in the remake.

What makes this injury even direr[1. I swear I wrote ‘more dire’ and autocorrect told me to write ‘direr’. Direr is probably the right word here but it yea, pretend I said more dire.] is that minor league season is ending shortly mean that whenever Judge returns, he gets zero rehab starts. He’s being thrown right into the fire where he’ll have to go from 0 to 100. He could reaggravate that injury at any time.

He’s a gigantic right-handed batter with a fractured right wrist. That’s literally all of his power so when he returns, he might not even be able to generate home runs which is his greatest asset at the plate.

The more I write about this situation, the more depressed I’m becoming. The only thing that can make me feel better is Brian Cashman putting his unusually large testicles on the table and acquiring former National League MVP Andrew McCutchen to help save the lineup in Judge’s absence.

We need you Aaron Judge. And we need Jakob Junis thrown into a volcano. Take Shane Robinson with you.



Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee if you think Jakob Junis should be burned at the stake for injuring Aaron Judge. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.

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Written by TheLesterLee

Created Deadseriousness after being fired from every job I've ever had. One faithful night I drew the conclusion that if I was going to be unemployed, I might as well write articles that will guarantee I am un-hireable going forward. This website is the equivalent to a face tattoo.

E-mail Lester@Deadseriousness.com to talk directly about all Deadseriousness related stuff or if you just want to talk about like, the Yankees or Marvel comics or whatever.

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