Game of Thrones is coming to an end. There are 13 episodes left before we finally see who ends up sitting on the iron thrones. There are zombies and dragons and magic and swords everywhere right now. Let’s talk about the best episodes of Game of Thrones. Why not? You have better plans? I didn’t think so.
But let’s look back at some of the best episodes of the last 6 seasons. I sat through hours upon hours of Game of Thrones to sift through the best episodes. I mean, I was going to do that this weekend anyway so I figured I’d get some pageviews out of it.
Out of all of the amazing episodes of this show, here are the 15 best episodes of Game of Thrones:
15. Season 3 Episode 5: Kissed By Fire
When you first meet Jaime Lannister, he is the biggest asshole in Westeros. He’s banging his sister and throwing little kids out of windows. He’s constantly antagonizing Ned Stark and everyone wants to blow him for being the best knight in the world.
Kissed by Fire unpeels those layers as he finally explains how he earned the Kingslayer nickname and you realize that he isn’t a disloyal monster who killed his own king but he’s an unsung hero who did the right thing but just chooses to embrace the bad boy reputation.
Oh, and most importantly, Jon Snow gets LAIIIDDDDD. High fives for everyone. Beric Dondarrion comes back from the dead or whatever but Jon Snow gets LAAAIIIDDD.
14. Season 1 Episode 7: You Win Or You Die
What’s great about this episode is that it sets up dominoes that will soon be falling and causing all of the major events that happen later. It puts news chess pieces on the board and in a pretty slow first season, things actually occur in this episode.
Enter Tywin Lannister, just carving up a stag which totally isn’t an extremely on the nose metaphor to Robert Baratheon dying in that very same episode after Cersei slips a mickey in his wine while he’s out hunting with the squad.
Also, you get the lamest and most naive Ned Stark crying to anyone who will listen that Joffrey isn’t a Baratheon only to have Littlefinger betray him at the end of the episode in the ultimate ‘bitch, I straight up told you not to trust anyone. Why the fuck would you trust me? I’ve been trying to bang your wife since day one, homie. Be better.’
13. Season 6 Episode 9: The Battle of the Bastards
Visually, there is no denying how visceral and graphic that war scene was between Snow’s army against Bolton’s. Seeing the dead bodies literally pile up and Jon Snow almost get buried alive in corpses was insane.
The Knights of the Vale roll in and save the day but I think I could’ve watched bodies pile up for another hour or so. Also, you know it’s a great episode when Daenerys’ dragons are burning motherfuckers alive unceremoniously. RIP to the Sons of the Harpy.
Dear Rickon, ZIG. ZAG.
12. Season 4 Episode 10: The Mountain and The Viper
From the second you meet Oberyn Martell, he is one a crash course to slay The Mountain. All signs were leading to this fantastic vengeance for the loss of his sister and her family who were raped and murdered by The Mountain.
But then you remember that you’re watching Game of Thrones and bad things happen to good people. I physically squealed when The Mountain squashed Oberyn head in with his bare hands. Would’ve been cool if they panned away but nope, full vicious details. There goes all the sexually ambiguous orgy scenes.
Also friendzone Jorah got booted from Mereen for being a spy and lying to his queen. Owner of a lonely heart.
11. Season 1 Episode 10: Fire and Blood
For whatever reason, choosing the episode right outside of the top 10 was the hardest choice on this whole list but this is the episode that made me fall in love with Game of Thrones. Personally, I think Daenerys has jumped the shark as far as her speeches in which she lists off all of her titles followed by her unstoppable dragons burning everyone alive with no challenge. There’s not a lot of drama in her life with 3 nuclear weapons in her back pocket.
But season one Daenerys was easily the most sympathetic and interesting character. The rightful heir to the throne forced into hiding on the other side of the world. We watched her brother abuse her. We watched Khal Drago take advantage and by the end of the season we saw the huge payoff and the birth of her dragons. Cum shot.
Also Jamie drop my favorite Jamie line “There are no men like me, only me” My dude.
10. The Lion and the Rose
What makes this episode so incredible isn’t just the mega satisfying death of the worst character ever, King Joffrey. It’s the slow grind of that wedding ceremony as Joffrey humiliates Tyrion for like, 20 minutes straight with no breaks or pauses. It’s so cringeworthy that I’m uncomfortable just thinking about it.
This is actually the most recent episode I watched because my free time is spent watching random episodes of a show that I pretend I don’t like as much as I really do. Anyway, it’s impossible to watch this wedding and not want to jump into the television and help the homie, Tyrion.
9. Season 4 Episode 9: The Watchers on the Wall
The Night’s Watch vs. Wildlings: Readyyyy…GO. All series long we’re told stories about the Night’s Watch but all you see up until this point is just a small dingy castle that looks like the least fun place on planet Earth. The Watchers on the Wall is when we finally see this castle under seige.
There is the great emotional moment where Ollie’s bitch ass shoots an arrow through Jon Snow’s real life girlfriend. They should’ve just stayed in the cave. I mean, the show would’ve been significantly less interesting if Jon Snow just stayed to bang this redhead all day every day but I guess we could’ve checked in on them in between dragons burning people and Cersei….burning people.
8. Season 4 Episode 10: The Children
The season 4 finale was a pivotal episode in which we lost two key players, Tywin Lannister and The Hound. Tyrion gets his groove back and murders his father with a crossbow while he’s sitting on a toilet, Elvis style.
But what makes this episode special is Brienne finally finding Arya Stark only to have to battle The Hound for her custody. Brienne might be the coolest person to see fight in Game of Thrones because she’s so large that every move she makes seem strenuous. Every swing of her sword seems like it’s physically exhausting.
And of course, we get the sad ending for Khaleesi where she has to lock up her dragons because they won’t stop burning children alive. Pour one out for the dragons…and those kids, I guess.
7. Season 6 Episode 5: The Door
Ah, the long awaited origin story for everyone’s favorite character, Hodor. Obviously he got the name Hodor from some weird mind altering time travel loop thing because magic, zombies and dragons weren’t enough for this series, they just had to throw in time travel and shit.
This episode was a cultural phenomenon. All week, everyone had their best Hodor impressions and their lamest ‘hold the door’ jokes on deck. RIP to a character that didn’t really matter but man, could that guy hold a door.
Also, this was where we found out the origin of the Night King as he was created by the Children of the Forest. Just a rare episode where Bran wasn’t completely useless.
6. Season 5 Episode 9: Dance of Dragons
So we can talk about the actual dragons in a second but what truly makes this episode top 10 worthy in a series where one can convincingly argue that pretty much every episode belongs in the top 10, is the ruthless eye gauging of Ser Meryn Trant by Arya who pretends to be a random young prostitute.[1. Sex worker**]
The tension of this scene makes you sweat as Meryn Trant is just a straight up creep beating these girls and continuing to demand an even younger girl to fit his disgusting fetish. You know Arya is about to mask off, fuck it mask off but it’s still incredibly tense.
Stannis Baratheon goes full heel and burns his daughter alive in a scene that will give you nightmares all week as his daughter screams for help and the Red Woman looks wayyy too satisfied.
The only reason why this episode isn’t number one for me is seeing Khaleesi ride a dragon might be the lamest thing this show has ever done. With the CGI being so awful out of nowhere like the budget just ran out, you can pretty much see the green screen showing and it’s just the worst visual ever.
5. Season 2 Episode 9: Blackwater
Blackwater was the first time you truly understood what it felt like to be in the midst of a war in Westeros. You feel like you’re on those front lines with Tyrion. When the wildfire hits Stannis’ fleet, you are genuinely disturbed by the violence and how quickly men are lost in war. Life is precious blah blah.
This episode was Cersei at her most vulnerable as she feared that the Baratheon’s were going to take back King’s Landing and kill her kids while Tyrion leads an entire army after King Joffrey proved to be a little bitch. Even The Hound reveals his extreme fear of fire and takes off forever.
Blackwater is a rare episode that stays in King’s Landing the entire time and does not cut over to Jon Snow or Khaleesi throughout the episode. Nope, just Davos watching everyone he cares about ignite. Classic Game of Thrones.
4. Season 1 Episode 9: Baelor
Baelor is arguably the most important episode in the entire Game of Thrones series. The events of this episode will go on to shape the entire show and every single character’s motivations going forward.
The beheading of Ned Stark is the beginning of Arya’s solo mission. It’s the end of Sansa’s innocence. It’s the loss of Jaime’s right hand. It’s the start of Joffrey being the worst teenager of all time. And as an audience, it’s when we truly learn that any character can die at any second.
This is also the episode where Jon Snow gets his White Walker exploding sword which will obviously be coming in handy very soon. Can’t forget this is the episode where Daenerys attempts to save Khal Drago’s life with magic which set up the best shot of the series in the season finale when her dragons finally hatch.
3. Season 3 Episode 9: Rains of Castamere
Ugh, weddings are the woooorst. Don’t you hate when you get dragged to your cousin’s lame ass wedding and then everyone you know and love gets arrows shot through their hearts and their necks slashed? So lame.
I think I audibly gasped when Catelyn Stark’s neck was sliced and diced. Sure, Walder Frey threatened Robb Stark when he chose his cute nurse wife over Frey’s incest brides but I was not expecting a slaughter.
These Starks suuuck at keeping their heads on their bodies. It’s their worst quality for sure.
2. Season 6 Episode 10: Winds of Winter
Cersei Lannister might go down as the baddest bitch in Television history next to Ally McBeal, Buffy, The Vampire Slayer and Femme Nikita. Not so much the latter but still, Cersei is perhaps in a league of her own when it comes to murdering goons.
Homegirl lit up half of King’s Landing out of spite and after six long seasons of manipulating and sacrificing and plotting, she finally becomes the sole queen on the throne. Whether you love or hate her, you have to appreciate her in season 6 with zombie mountain over her shoulder smashing dudes heads into walls and lighting the Tyrell family alive.
Not to mention Arya finally gets revenge on Walder Frey by feeding his sons to him in a pie. Claaaasic Arya. Arya 101. There’s a little wink to the audience that Jon Snow is a Targaryen and for those of us who haven’t read any of the books, that scene meant absolutely nothing and I need Bran to stop interrupting Game of Thrones with his bullshit.
1. Season 5 Episode 8: Hardhome
I’ll admit that this may be my own personal favorite but I will attempt to explain why this is the best episode regardless. What made me first addicted to Game of Thrones wasn’t the expensive battle scenes or crazy CGI budgets.
I loved the political drama and the behind the scenes wheelings and dealings or characters trying to usurp power and climb up the hierarchy of power. In fact, the more explosions there were, the less I was interested.
Nothing took me out of this show more than the sudden appearance of zombies for no reason at all. I want to see who sits on the iron throne at the end, I really don’t need this to turn into The Walking Dead.
Having said that, Hardhome is the first time you really see the White Walker army and characters rise from the dead out of nowhere. It was unexpected and it was a rare scene where it wasn’t obvious that the good guys were going to win.
Thanks for reading. Tweet to @TheLesterLee with the episodes you think are the best in Game of Thrones. Also, go ahead and throw Deadseriousness a Like on Facebook so that I can keep the lights on around here at HQ.
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