The Lakers won 53 games last season.
They won a playoff series, beat Kevin Durant and the Houston Rockets.
And only Luka Doncic, Austin Reeves, Jarrad Vanderbilt, Jake LaRavia, Dalton Knecht and Bronny James were allowed back on the team for next season’s campaign.
An entire new roster, mostly guys who keep sunscreen at arm’s length.
Here are the new Lakers coming in to replace the 53-win squad of old:
- Walker Kesler
- Quentin Grimes
- Collin Sexton
- Kevon Looney
- Sandro Mamukelashvili
- Matisse Thybulle
- Cameron Carr
Not mad at it.
Last season, old, injured, reliant on a sciatica-ridden 40-year-old Executive Producer. They finished 19th in defensive rating, begging Luka to go out there and get back all the points they just allowed, Luka more than willing until his leg gave out, limping the Lakers to the offseason.
Walker Kesler, Matisse Thybulle and Cameron Carr are far more athletic and willing defenders than the players they’re replacing.
Quentin Grimes and Collin Sexton just need to be ready to shoot or take off for a fastbreak when they share the court with Luka and/or Austin Reeves.
But many new personalities are joining a LeBron-less Lakers locker room.
Luka Doncic runs the show now, as the first year of his 3year $165m contract extension kicks in.
According to Dave McMenamin of ESPN, Luka Doncic is offering to fly the whole Lakers squad out to his home in Slovenia for a 4-day training camp/bonding exercise, sleepaway camp, and Ljubljana sightseeing.
Luka, glued to Slovenia all summer as his estranged wife takes the kids, the house, everything, Doncic enjoying his final summer with the family before he’s forced back to LA with the rest of the deadbeat dreamchasers.
Here are 3 quick Luka takes for y’all and then you can go about your day. Let me get these thoughts out of my brain or I’m never going to sleep tonight:
1. If you don’t fly to Slovenia, you shouldn’t even report to camp. No one on this roster is too busy to reschedule whatever plans they have for the Luka Doncic getaway. This man is about to get Walker Kessler All-Star votes. Get on a way-too-long flight, laugh at Luka’s jokes and pretend the food is tasty. We all have to suck up at work sometimes.
2. Good for Luka. As you read this, whenever you read this, Nikola Jokic has no clue where his phone is. When the season ends, he’s home. Chillin. Clocked out. For years, the only teammate Giannis worked out with in the offseason shared his last name.
Luka Doncic doesn’t need to invite Kevon Looney to his house. That’s never been a superstar requirement. Kobe would belly laugh if a teammate asked for a ride home. Being a good teammate matters when the games matter most.
And for those who would take the dinner with Jay-Z, I reckon this is hosted by Slovenia’s tourism board. This is sponcon. Luka’s inviting the boys to his content house to collect a bag.
3. Lakers are going to the Western Conference Finals. OKC is shedding key players for cheap rookies and the Spurs still think they were the better team in the Finals. If the unstoppable Spurs defense couldn’t stop Jalen Brunson, how are they beating healthy Luka? The Rockets, Warriors and Nuggets did nothing. Minnesota shrunk. This 4-day boys trip to Slovenia is about to ignite a championship-contending season. Luka finally named MVP. LeBron and the Sixers win, like, 43 games, Joel Embiid is out most of the season and Jaylen Brown is weird.
I snuck in an extra take at the end, on the house.
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