Hey Rudy, Save Some Pussy For The Rest of Us

Many of us know Rudy Giuliani as the mayor of New York when 9/11 happened. Following the attacks, he was out every day in an NYPD cap and Yankees bomber jacket to let the whole world know “New York”.

Due to his successful venture as “man from New York”, Rudy was able to become the advisor to President Trump. Naturally, when someone as accomplished as Giuliani elevates to the White House, the hoes start crawling out of every crevice to get a piece of you.

One of those hoes was his former staffer, Noelle Dunphy, who released transcripts of audio recordings displaying Giuliani’s incredible game.

Here’s a quick example of the smooth-talking Rudy gives the ladies:

“Come here, big tits”. What a FIRE line.

“Your tits belong to me, I want to claim my tits”. I have to steal these bars. Talking about claiming a woman’s body like you won a game of bingo and you’re bringing your card up to the host so you can get your prize of like, knockoff CVS-brand airpods is swag. Women cannot resist being talked about like a $25 lotto scratch-off.

It sucks living in the same state as this Cassanova.

Every time you go on a date with a girl and see her check her phone, there’s a 50% chance Rudy is texting her something seductive like “I want to honk honk your melons”.

What chance do the rest of us stand against this playboy?

I mean, look at Adonis.

What a specimen.

I can’t imagine why Noelle Dunphy is filing a lawsuit against him for sexual harassment. How ungrateful can she be? She was being pursued by the hottest bachelor and she couldn’t handle being with the sexiest man alive.

Which sucks because here’s Rudy Giuliani sharing his real feelings for Dunphy:

See, Rudy never realized women could be both smart and hot before. Noelle Dunphy turned the biggest player into a little simp and now she’s crushing him for crushing on her. Wow. Cold world.

I hope this lawsuit doesn’t take Rudy out of the game. Sure yes, I’m jealous of Giuliani’s ability to get any girl he wants and definitely isn’t pressuring women he hires into having gross ass sex under the looming threat of losing their jobs and having their reputations destroyed.

Rudy Giuliani is one of the greatest ladies men we’ve ever seen. He’s so good at getting girls that he even got with his own cousin and married her for 14 years.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

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