Lauren Boebert Should Be Allowed To Vape and Jerk Dudes Off At the Local Beetlejuice Musical

Lauren Boebert was minding her own business this week. All she wanted to do was enjoy Beetlejuice the Musical at a local Denver theatre when allllll of a sudden she and her squad were escorted off the premises.

Complaints included Boebert being loud, disruptive, singing, dancing and straight-up recording chunks of the musical and I’m told it is prohibited to record live musicals and post on your social media so your IG followers from high school feel jealous.

All I hear is an influential woman enjoyed the play they were performing and was attempting to share with her much larger audience.

She is a congresswoman in Colorado. You’d want her to be dancing and clapping in the aisles. It’ll bring in more ticket sales for Beetlejuice The Musical.

Apparently, Lauren Boebert got into it with a pregnant woman who complained about Boebert vaping at her and her unborn child.

At intermission, Boebert was informed about the vaping complaints and when she got back to her seat, she called the pregnant woman a “sad and miserable person.”

I assume she continued vaping.

Again, another strong advertisement for Beetlejuice The Musical. I know for a fact Boebert was drunk as hell dancing her ass off blowing vape dummy-sized vape clouds because that’s exactly how I behave when the Bud Lights start hitting the bloodstream.

There are several locations I am no longer welcome thanks to drunk me fighting for my right to vape in everyone’s eyes.

Oh, and here she is heavy-petting a man who is not her husband in the middle of Beetle The Musical.

Here is security footage of Lauren Boebert at a family-friendly musical performance before she was kicked out.

These are the same Republicans claiming that drag queens are “sexualizing” public spaces. pic.twitter.com/6vUd6j8sSq

— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) September 16, 2023

Once again, another fantastic review for BEETLEJUICE THE MUSICAL. Come have the time of your life and jerk off your side dude.

A lottttt of people in Colorado would rush to see Beetlejuice The Musical if they knew they’d get laid after. Or during.

Let Lauren Boebert live her life. If she wants to vape and talk and hump during a musical then she should be able to. She didn’t get big ol’ fake yiddies to NOT have them felt up at the local theater.

If Colorado continues to elect this woman who is clearly solely interested in serving herself as opposed to any of the people voting for her then they should have to deal with her terrorizing cities.

A few years ago she was drunk driving an ATV with her son and his wife, flipped that bitch offroading and abandoned them and the vehicle before the police arrived and caught her sweating out the sangria.

Nothing happened.

She owned a restaurant where all of the employees walked around with loaded guns and one time, she pointed a gun at one of her employees and mocked him for supporting Obama.

Shit, Boebert gave tours of the Capitol the DAY BEFORE the January 6th riots. She literally gave these insurrectionists the blueprint on where to go and where every congressperson’s location was.

Nothing happened.

Why would this woman not vape directly into a pregnant woman’s open mouth? Why wouldn’t she dry hump a random dude at Beetlejuice The Musical?

You people wanted this.

At this point, I am fully supporting whatever she chooses to do. You guys want to keep voting for her then deal with the consequences of waking up to the sounds of Lauren Boebert going through your trash cans in the middle of the night like a raccoon.

Lauren Boebert is going to be the passenger in a manslaughter case when she’s giving road head to her ex-husband’s best friend—who lied to her about his ability to fund her next restaurant venture—as he speeds through a red light and crushes an elderly Colorado man.

And nothing will happen. Shrug.

All I know is I cannot wait until Beetlejuice The Musical gets back to New York. It’s going to be the best night of my life and the worst night of everyone around me.

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