In 2005, at age 31, Jake Plummer—one of my favorite QBs back in the day—an OG gunslinger who I imagine used to jog into the huddle on first down and say—”watch me throw this football over them mountains”—had the best season of his NFL career. After getting the wind knocked out of them in a […]
I would love to be considered amongst the greatest to ever type words but unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever come close. I highkey suck at this. I lack, like, the basic fundamentals. Abritrary punctuations, run-on sentences and typos top to bottom. These are caveman drawings. Middle school doodles on the backs of worksheets. Honestly, […]
Hey, everyone’s going through something. We’re all in constant battles. It’s hard out here for a pimp. And it’s also hard for the hoes, of course. The Johns probably have a lot they’re working out as well. We don’t kink shame here but I know they’d be happier spending their money elsewhere. Go find love. […]
I wanted to start my 2025 NFL season previews with positivity. Nazis and perverts have swarmed every government body in the last few years and I don’t want to add to the nonstop annoying, depressing shitposts flooding everyone’s timelines 24/7. However, I still have to get a littleeeee hate out of my heart, as a […]
How Did 2024 Go? Record: 3-14 31st-ranked offense 21st-ranked defense The Giants won 3 more NFL games than you and I did. Outside of Drew Lock having one of the greatest single games in the history of the sport—a performance to be passed down from generation to generation of Lock’s like Drew slayed the Gorgon—you […]
Last week, Micah Parsons announced he’s done playing around with the Dallas Cowboys. Thank you Dallas 🦁👑 🙏🏾! I pic.twitter.com/EUnEj9uRUt — Micah Parsons (@MicahhParsons11) August 1, 2025 Micah Parsons wants his money and Jerry Jones is playing in his face, attention-hoarding as he runs from the grim reaper in his dreams every night. Last season, […]
Micah Parsons has made 3 All-Pro teams (First Team All-Pro 2021. 2022, Second Team All-Pro 2023). He’s a 4-time All-Star. The 2021 Defensive Rookie of the Year. He’s finished in the Top 3 in Defensive Player of the Year voting 3 of his 4 first NFL seasons. Parsons missed 4 games last season with a […]
In April, former NFL tight end turned sports hot take artist and interviewer with the worst questions ever, Shannon Sharpe, was about to sign his name on a $100 million podcast contract. The very same month, a young woman accused Sharpe of sexual assault and filed a lawsuit against the co-star of ESPN’s First Take. […]
A stunner: The Raiders are releasing standout DT Christian Wilkins, the former prize of free agency after just one season of a five-year, $110M deal, sources say. Wilkins, who has been dealing with a serious foot injury, is on the books for $57.5M fully guaranteed. [image or embed] — Ian Rapoport (@rapsheet.bsky.social) July 24, 2025 […]
Sports are a massive part of my life, especially when it comes to football. Although the new season is not quite ready for takeoff yet, it’s not far away and the schedule of games for the new season has already been released. The matchups it contains has caused quite a buzz among NFL supporters […]
This weekend was the 2025 NFL Draft, aka Mel Kiper Jr’s 13th Reason Why. The entire weekend was centered around the fall of Shedeur Sanders to the fifth round as the Cleveland Browns second choice and the imaginative storylines and conspiracies surrounding it. But there were also 250+ kids not named Shedeur who also achieved […]
In a world where planes are falling out of the sky and you have to save few paychecks up to purchase one dozen eggs, we’re all just looking for a romantic partner to help us carry the weight. Shannon Sharpe is no different from you or me. After 14 years as a Hall of Fame […]
I don’t like writing about these domestic abuse cases. It feels icky sometimes. But I also imagine the victims don’t like getting beat up by celebrities and athletes who casually return to work without facing any real consequences—so I guess I’ll talk about this new Tyreek Hill fight. Wednesday afternoon, local Sunny Isles Beach police […]
It’s time for Deadseriousness to get into the 2025 NFL Mock Draft game. I want those pageviews too. I gotta feed my family (my dog). Sure, I only really watched Nebraska football and even then, I’m mostly on my phone watching clips from Jeff Teague’s podcast. But this is America where a lack of knowledge […]
I was waiting to see where Aaron Rodgers landed before I dropped a final NFL free agency article but I don’t have time to waste while Rodgers rubs mud on his face on the outskirts of the Patagonian Desert—high off the chemicals they forced 1950s housewives to devour after they watched their second-born get mowed […]
BREAKING: The #Giants and QB Jameis Winston are finalizing a 2-year, $8M deal, which could be up to $16M with incentives, multiple sources tell @NFLonFOX. [image or embed] — Jordan Schultz (@schultzreport.bsky.social) March 21, 2025 at 7:57 PM What does Jameis Winston bring to the New York Giants? Jameis Winston’s greatest strength is not being […]
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