I’ll be honest, a looooot of dogshit football this week. Every year I forgot the brutality and cost of this enterprise, where, by week 8, you’re mostly watching minor leaguers try, with all their might, to stop the few remaining true superstars still standing. Like, why did I just watch Andy Dalton play football in […]
The Minnesota Vikings, dogwalked by the Los Angeles Chargers, 37-10, Amazon Prime(time). All eyes on Kimani Vidal and Justin Herbert playing keepaway from the toddlers on the Vikings defense—while Carson Wentz, teary-eyed, unable to withstand the Chargers pass rush—played like he knew his time in the NFL was coming to an end. The holy trinity […]
The New York Giants are 79-132 since winning the Super Bowl in 2011. Then Eli Manning began to melt upon making eye contact with pass rushers. Odell Beckham Jr refused to visit a mental health specialist. Daniel Jones routinely visiting a spine specialist. Ben McAdoo fired. Pat Shurmur fired. Joe Judge fired. Saquon Barkley moving […]
The New York Giants hosted the defending Super Bowl Champions, without their star receiver Malik Nabers and their not-star receiver, Darius Slayton. Didn’t matter. The Giants mollywhopped the Philadelphia Eagles up and down the field. By the 4th quarter, the Eagles waved the white flag; Cam Skattebo devouring chunks of yards while Philly defenders watched […]
Okay, it’s Monday morning. The floor is flooding. Life isn’t going great here at Deadseriousness HQ. But I feel way better than Justin Fields and Aaron Glenn who brought the Wraith to London to get boat raced in London. The Jets and Broncos reminded everyone in the building why they prefer soccer. The Denver Broncos […]
Thursday night, defending Super Bowl Champions parked in the driveway, Malik Nabers, one of the best wide receivers in the NFL, out for the season. Darius Slayton, one of the wide receivers in the NFL, out until who cares. The Giants, coming off a 5 turnover L to the New Orleans Saints, how would rookie […]
Malik Nabers tearing every muscle off the bone, down for the season, hurts. 109 catches for 1,204 yards and 7 touchdowns in 15 games last season. The most talented employee on the payroll. Gone until September. Ow. But the New York Giants have an even bigger challenge to overcome Thursday night against the Philadelphia Eagles. […]
Arizona Cardinals 21-22 home loss to the Titans—the worst team in the NFL—trauma-inducing. Since this article is about legalities, me, a legal expert, will invoke some of my more educated, advanced legal knowledge; some real Murphy’s Law shit went down in Glendale. Win gifted to Tennessee in a bakery box full of the most exotic […]
Trade: Browns are trading QB Joe Flacco and a 6th-round pick to the Bengals for a 5th-round pick. pic.twitter.com/VbIorM9985 — Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) October 7, 2025 The Cincinnati Bengals acquire 40-year-old Joe Flacco and a 6th round pick to the Cleveland Browns in exchange for a 5th. Let’s give out trade grades. Cincinnati Bengals acquire […]
Monday Night Football, 3-1 Jacksonville hosting the defending AFC Champions; Super Bowl runs require Super Bowl confidence—a quality escaping the Jaguars since their 1995 birth. I’m older than the Jaguars. I just gave myself the ick. Hospice care soon cometh. A victory over Patrick Mahomes, Andy Reid, the Chiefs, in Primetime; Peter Parker with the […]
This Sunday, locked in, eyes on every play. Honestly, Jaxson Dart personally retiring Russell Wilson last week got me back into the NFL season. Um, not so fortunate for my Giants this week but I have something to look forward to again. I’m re-engaged, it’s time to bring back my favorite weekly article, the NFL […]
Last week, rookie Jaxson Dart debuted, palpable hope filled the tri-state area. Threats of tyranny, dread-inducing executive orders raining pain on anyone without a Hamptons beach house. Everything costs every dollar I have. The New York Giants won their first game of the season, I saw my first rainbow of 2025—discovered new food flavors, sent […]
I wasn’t in a hurry to write about the Mark Sanchez stabbing. Not the funniest story in the world. Tucked it in my back pocket (a Google doc I should rename into “shit I’ll never finish”). On Saturday, a “video”, mentioned in every report, meant the full story hadn’t been told. A young man just […]
Yankees AL Wild Card Game 3. They lose, to the Boston fucking Red Sox, I’m doing a terrorism. Have no fear, Cam Schlitter is here. The rook’s got it. Let’s see the 3-1 San Francisco 49ers limp to Los Angeles to battle the 3-1 Los Angeles Rams to maintain first place in a brutal NFC […]
NEWS: The Browns are making a change at QB. Dillon Gabriel is taking over for Joe Flacco, who will be Cleveland’s backup, per source. Shedeur Sanders will remain third on the depth chart. [image or embed] — Dianna Russini (@diannarussini.bsky.social) October 1, 2025 at 8:26 AM Joe Flacco’s undeserved Macy’s Parade around the country, cancelled. […]
Sunrise provides fresh opportunities. Death evaded once more. Sunday morning. Eyes open to hope. Proletariat pack pews. Nico croons. Me? Dreams of doing meth with Charlie Sheen and my 7th-grade math teacher. Ms. Farley can’t handle her methamphetamines—believe it or not. Drool wiped to push notifications of Carson Wentz interceptions. We are so back. Aaron […]
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