Aaron Rodgers is on a One-Man Mission To Turn Every Jets Employee Into a Drug Addict Like Him

Aaron Rodgers’s offseason started with him vanishing from the face of the earth for a “darkness retreat” which is a wealthy man’s way of just going to smoke crack in a cave for a while. Plenty of drug addicts have gone missing after a long bender but Rodgers did the fancier version that cost thousands of dollars for no reason.

Do crack under a bridge like everyone else.

And since entering the Jets facility, Rodgers has been passing that shit to anyone and everyone.

Sauce Gardner was the first teammate to grab the crack pipe from Rodgers. Smart move by Gardner. Clearly, this man wants to be considered one of the best cornerbacks in the NFL and the best way to do so is by having Aaron Rodgers stand in front of the media and praise him because most of the NFL media doesn’t even watch the games.

Aaron Rodgers is almost two decades older than Sauce Gardner. He should be handing out D.A.R.E. t-shirts in practice and instead, he walked in the first day and gave everyone his phone number AND his dealer’s number.

And now, Rodgers and Sauce are handing the drugs over to the water girl.

@saucexwilson Aaron and Sauce are the best 🤣🤣 || #fyp #trending #viral #nfl #football #jets #aaronrodgers #saucegardner ♬ original sound – saucexwilson

Praying every Jets fan going to MetLife Stadium this season is careful. By the time Week 1 rolls around, Aaron Rodgers will have every team employee nodding off like they’re living on a park bench. Parking lot attendants are going to be lying on the pavement. Concession workers are going to accidentally spill their lean in your Budweiser.

We’re a few days from seeing a Jets team trainer passed out on the subway for 24 hours after Rodgers passed him the pipe.

Ultimately, I think this will bring the whole team together and the Jets will quite literally sleepwalk to the playoffs, losing teeth and their family’s respect along the way.

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