The NBA play-in tournament, a punchline for NBA podcasters who feed themselves from the league they are addicted to complaining about.
ME? Love the play-in.
Win or go home. You score more points than the other team, 82 games of sacrifice rewarded. You lose, you failed, the checks cleared but you did all the running around for what?
Make the 1 and 2 seeds play the best competition. Too many first-round series sweeps, Goliaths shredding Davids like taco cheese, now forced to compete with teams, hands hot.
On Wednesday night, the Golden State Warriors and Los Angeles Clippers battled for the 9th seed—another chance for playoff qualification, pending results at Phoenix this Friday.
Golden State 126-121 victory.
Steph Curry, abusing PTO all season, drops 35 points in 36 minutes—16 in the 3Q alone.
Steph Curry walks on water
STEPH CURRY IN THE 3RD QUARTER
16 PTS — 6/8 FGM — 3/4 3PM
🔥🔥🔥 pic.twitter.com/pdIeNBLiWZ
— Hoop Central (@TheHoopCentral) April 16, 2026
Steph Curry, a cyborg whose CPU sees all 3s (instead of zeroes and ones)—his human skeleton deteriorating by the second—the machine beneath unbothered.
Steph Curry the sicko, Mad Max, limping but the shotty cocked—Old Man Logan off a good night’s sleep.
Golden State, hardly a basketball team without Dell’s son, some pennies and old Burger King fries under the car seat.
Curry expertly programmed to generate the maximum amount of points per possession.
If the ball leaves his hands and doesn’t hit the bottom of the net, an anomaly, a disturbance in the Matrix, the galaxy malfunctions. Tony Stark turned Victor Von Doom.
But Stephen didn’t win this game alone—he summoned some NBA vets along the way.
The Curry/Porzingis 2-man game no one asked for
I’ve seen enough I need Kristaps Porzingis back next season I’m so serious pic.twitter.com/oqjtOdF9UN
— aly ✶ (@jinthirty) April 16, 2026
The Steph Curry-Kristaps Porzingis two-man game avant-garde.
Very indie.
Shoegaze shit.
Billy Woods and ELUCID on the track.
Two mythical creatures, skillsets unique to only them, united in the bay—second half, the pick and pop too tough, too mighty.
Kristaps Porzingis scored 20 points on 8-for-12 shooting with 5 boards, 5 assists, 2 blocks, and a steal.
One cough away from retirement, each opening tip a question mark, pending a doctor’s approval—Porzingis played like it was his last game ever.
And it could be.
Who knows?
My guy contracted an illness from the 1800s, only treated by leeches, warm milk and nuns’ round-the-clock prayers.
Geezers erupt
AL HORFORD IS UNCONSCIOUS. 4 FOR 4 FROM THREE IN THE 4TH. pic.twitter.com/QBTdR2MRRK
— Legion Hoops (@LegionHoops) April 16, 2026
Al Horford, one of the greatest character actors of his generation—4 threes, including the go-ahead.
Warriors 117-115 with 2 minutes left.
Horford ,the final free agent signed.
Fuck Jonathan Kuminga.
Knicks in 3.
College balling during the Bush Administration, the 39-year old NBA champ scored 14 points, 12 in the 4th, unwilling to end his season.
DRAYMOND GREEN.
DEFENSIVE MASTERCLASS. https://t.co/LFqgSBDgLY pic.twitter.com/poJRaILT7b— NBA (@NBA) April 16, 2026
Draymond Green DPOY.exe reinstalled with a minute left, tipping an inbound pass and ripping a Kawhi dribble from his paws. Washed as ever, Draymond broke glass in case of emergency, unleashing the destructive defensive force future generations’ll read about.
The Warriors survive.
Watching Steph Curry, Draymond Green and Steve Kerr hug, embrace, smile, exude joy—to say the play in sucks, caterwauling the pools too warm.
Shout out the Warriors.
The team that just beat the Clippers, about a Jimmy Butler away from a championship.
Let’s talk about the Clippers real quick
Flipped James Harden and Ivaca Zubac for Darius Garland and Benedict Manthurin midway, took flight.
Darius Garland wasn’t balling like this in Cleveland, his home invaded by Spidas and hypothetical Tim Duncan comparisons. Injuries robbed Garland of presence, Cali sun healing his tendons like Kal-El beating a Darkseid hangover.
Too little, too late.
The campaign stiffled by Pablo Torre, the FBI and Bradley Beal.
Kawhi Leonard, a deserving MVP candidate—his best regular season since his Canadian excursion—null and void. History does not exalt 10th seeds.
Kawhi will most likely return to LA. No signs he suddenly wants to leave his Cali home to dwell in Orlando or wherever.
Unless he wants to play for the Knicks on the MLE. Come through. We’ve got Zohran.
Read More: Jaden Ivey Ate The Vaseline
Thanks for reading. If you liked these words, head over to my Substack to get more of my words sent directly into your inbox or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com with your NBA playoff takes. Let’s yap ball.



