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jaden ivey
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In 2009, 2-time NBA All-Star Stephon Marbury livestreamed himself eating vaseline—claiming it soothed his sore throat—although the justifications are irrelevant.

My guy was filming himself eating petroleum jelly, unprovoked.

(Former) Chicago Bulls guard Jaden Ivey, caught covered in Vasoline.

Monday afternoon, Jaden Ivey giving IG sermons to bloggers and his hometown, hanging from the back seat window, Labrador style, letting some homophobic nonsense fly under the guise of “faith”.

“Unrighteousness,” Ivey described the NBA’s recognition of Pride Month.

Jaden Ivey, out rehabbing a knee injury, fired on his day off.

 

The Detroit Pistons drafted Ivey in 2022 but didn’t begin winning until Ivey was out licking wounds.

As Detroit began its ascension atop the Eastern Conference, Ivey, the odd man out.

The no. 5 pick in the draft, replaced by the no. 5 pick right after him Ausar Thompson—and Daniss Jenkins, an undrafted guard.

Detroit sent the injury-prone minister to Chicago for Kevin Huerter.

Ivey continued to make no impact on the floor before the team shut him down to get his knee right but also wanted to play other guys who were not Jaden Ivey.

Jaden was in the final months of his contract, facing an uncertain future with another injury to overcome.

Understandable moment to reflect, and perhaps dive into your faith, pull strength from God, hit the scriptures, Etc.

In need of answers, he’s turned to the most shallow, regressive and indolent parts of Christianity.

It’s fucking lazy.

It’s hard truly loving your neighbor.

It’s hard to forgive, and be kind, and grateful, and obedient, and thoughtful. 

Jaden Ivey needed help and the hand that reached back gleamed diamonds, pastors enriching uranium. 

Injuries thwarted Jaden’s plot to escape his demons, politicized Christianity opened the trap door beneath his feet, surrounding him with echoes of homophobia and bigotry, sending those inner demons out to attack an easy target.

Ivey’s pain turned to self-righteousness and career destruction.

On a 2015 episode of HBO’s “Real Sports”, Stephon Marbury revealed he was in hell. His father passed in 07, his Starbury brand collapsed and his Knicks career ended with an unceremonious buyout. Marbury suffered from depression, claiming he experienced suicidal thoughts daily.

I’ve never seen a healthy person live-stream from a moving vehicle. 

This boy Jaden is down bad.

Jaden Ivey ate the vaseline. 

 




What’s next for Jaden Ivey

NBA superstars freak out.

Pressure doesn’t make diamonds.

Pressure bursts pipes. 

Assuming he still intends to play NBA basketball—FPS dreams remain dreams—Jaden Ivey is a public apology and a new prescription away from a summer league invite.

The 4-star recruit out of high school played two great seasons at Purdue and won a FIBA gold medal.

The basketball skills are in there.

Personally, I suggest changing churches. I went to church every Sunday growing up and not once did a pastor single out or even mention gay people. That’s like, the 7,983,457th priority for most honest Christians.

Most importantly, Jaden Ivey needs to get his health, physical and mental right, or he should expect future Holy Wars against Mac McClung, Kevin Knox and Markelle Fultz in the G-League All-Star game.

Also, he needs to get in touch with Paul George. Open about taking drugs to manage his depression, in the midst of a Renaissance season in Philadelphia, despite the 25-game ketamine suspension. Get Paul George’s plug and someone else’s urine and you’re back in an NBA rotation by dinner time.

 

Read More: Mike Brown is the Reason Karl-Anthony Towns Sucks

 


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Lester Lee

Creator of Deadseriousness.com, The Last Sports Blog.

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