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Enes Kanter is a Genius

enes kanter

Enes Kanter played his final NBA game on February 8th, 2022. He scored 7 points. He was then traded to the Houston Rockets and instantly cut from the roster. No other team would sign him.

Earlier in the season, he changed his name to Enes Freedom when he received American citizenship. All of his tweets were hyperfocused on criticizing China. It’s important to point out no one cares if you criticize China. Most people are indifferent about international issues.

The problem is, the type of people who spend all day crying about China don’t actually care either. It’s a way to technically be ‘right’ and using that faux-moral superiority to point fingers at people who work with China. Ya know, like the NBA.

So Enes Kanter—who was quickly realizing he was no longer getting any real playing time and his career was coming to an end—decided to join these losers in using China as a way to shit on the NBA and LeBron James for having Chinese endorsements and blah blah.

Here’s a quote from a Washington Post column written to dick ride Enes and praise his ‘bravery’ for speaking out against shit no one really cares about:

Enes Kanter Freedom sensed the end was coming. “I have 25 games left in my contract, and it’s up after this season,” the 10-year National Basketball Association veteran told me last week. But recently, he said, former teammates and coaches began telling him, “We love you, so we have to tell you the truth. This is your farewell tour. Enjoy it. Smile. Have fun with it. I hope you win a championship, because I don’t think you are going to get another contract after this year, because the things that you talk about cost [the NBA] millions of dollars.”

He straight-up gave away the game plan.

Enes knew he wasn’t good enough to be in the NBA anymore so he intentionally created the narrative he was being blackballed by going out of his way to play on Fox News and all these conservative spaces and be the NBA player ‘brave’ enough to challenge them.

Genius move.

If you ever feel like your job is about to lay you off, just become an annoying conspiracy loser and then claim you are being blackballed for speaking the truth so you can have a wave of support from people like Ashli Babbitt, who will take a bullet in the temple in your honor.

Next time your boss asks you to do something you don’t want to do just go on a Twitter rant about how oppressed you are and you’ll be treated like a hero by dudes who sat down and watched Ben Shapiro’s Barbie movie review.

Fast forward a year and Enes is still going except now he’s attacking trans people.

This is my new favorite type of person.

Like, remember the old Buzzfeed days where all you had to do to get likes and retweets was say shit like “I like bacon” or “I can’t live without pizza” and now in 2023, if you want a bunch of engagement and reactions you say things like “Men are men and women are women” and suddenly your lonely ass is flooded with notifications.

Enes Kanter is the funniest person in the world. He knew he was losing his job so he tried to get himself cancelled which I’m sure gave him some quick checks during his unemployment doing guest speaking spots opening up for Brett Favre or whatever and now when we’ve all pretty much forgotten his existence, he’s not only doing the laziest transphobic greatest hits but he’s lowkey begging WNBA for a job.

“Hey WNBA, are you hiring?”. Replace the WNBA with literally any other company and Enes is earnestly asking for a job.

Enes Kanter went from pretending to care about China’s treatment of the Uyghur community when in reality he was mad at the NBA for not wanting his weird ass around to now pretending to care about biology or whatever the fuck in order to maybe get a paycheck somewhere.

Do not be shocked if Enes is running for government office soon as his next genius scam to collect campaign donation money from the lowest IQ people on Earth.

Kanter chose shitposting over actually watching film and going to the gym and improving his defense. Don’t work that hard and scam your way into fame. He is truly living the American dream.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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