Alvin Kamara Might Be Suspended 6 Games For an Absolutely Bullshit Reason

Alvin Kamara is still one of the best running backs in the NFL and the New Orleans Saints could lose him for 6 games. This should be the biggest story of the offseason but of course, it is being overshadowed by the sexual predator who ejaculated on strangers but for some reason still hasn’t been suspended a single game yet.

According to an NFL.com report, Alvin Kamara was arrested and charged with battery resulting in bodily harm in Las Vegas this February the weekend of the Pro Bowl. The victim who got his face rearranged told the police he was waiting for an elevator next to Kamara and his friends and when the elevator arrived, Kamara put his hand on his chest and pushed him away from the doors. The victim knocked Kamara’s hand off his chest and the beat down began.

Now, there are some of you reading this thinking to yourself ‘how is Kamara’s suspension bullshit when there is a video footage of him and his pals stomping a guy out?’.

This all took place at a Las Vegas casino so chances are, there was some alcohol involved. I know a drunk asshole when I read about one and I have a very good feeling, the guy was probably annoying the hell out of Alvin Kamara to the point where Kamara didn’t want him on the elevator with him.

Did he deserve to get his skull cracked for being annoying? No, that’s a bit extreme, I reckon. But actions have consequences and if an All-Pro NFL running back wants you to leave him alone you should just take the next elevator up.

It’s also possible the victim didn’t say a word and Kamara was simply in a bad mood and wanted to ride up alone with the homies. He would not be the first or last rich celebrity to demand special privileges.

At a certain point in your life, you learn not to go places where you’re not welcome. This guy learned that valuable lesson in February when the Saints came marching down his head. Also love that Kamara played in the Pro Bowl the next day and had 4 catches for 23 yards. Wiped the blood off his knuckles and played a football game like it was no big deal.

My point is, Alvin Kamara shouldn’t miss 6 games this season because a weirdo fan was getting too close to him in a little elevator. 1-2 games max and that’s solely due to the number of times they hit the guy when he was down and the damage they caused to his skeleton. But 6 games is insane.

It’s even more frustrating when you compare this timeline to that of Deshaun Watson. Kamara beat up a loser 4 months ago and already faces a 6 game suspension but Watson being a pervert has been in the headlines for 15 months and the NFL is pretending they have no idea what to do.

You can say there’s video footage of Kamara powerbombing that dude and there’s no recorded evidence of what Deshaun Watson did but these things aren’t so black and white. As I said earlier, the guy could’ve been saying wild things to Kamara and earned those fists. But there is no context where the women affected by Watson deserved to be put in a situation where the star quarterback of the local football team took his dick out and jizzed on himself.

Where does this leave the New Orleans Saints?

With Kamara out, the bulk of the running back load will be placed on the 32-year-old shoulders of Mark Ingram who is just coming off a career-low 3.5 yards per carry. Jameis Winston and Andy Dalton do not stand a chance of sniffing success without a strong running game especially when none of us have any idea what Michael Thomas will look like after missing all of 2021 with an ankle injury.

Their options at running back are guys like David Johnson. In 2016, David Johnson led the NFL with 2,118 yards from scrimmage. In 2021, DJ racked up uh, just 453 yards from scrimmage. The free agent market isn’t greaaaat at that position right now.

The Saints would be a playoff team if Kamara had jerked off on that guy in the elevator instead of hitting him.