50 Most Interesting Players Heading Into the 2023 NFL Season

The NFL is only as interesting as its players. They can pretend it’s the ‘shield’ and Rob Lowe can wear his generic NFL hat but the players make the league. Otherwise, we would’ve watched the XFL and USFL. No one did that. The Rock runs the XFL and I guarantee he did not watch two games last season.

So let’s talk about the most interesting players this league has. I don’t want to pretend to do analysis on offensive lines as if I understand what makes a right guard good at his job.

Disclaimer: There will be no Dallas Cowboys on this list. I’m a Giants fan. I have never in my life found a Cowboys player interesting. And I was there when you all desperately tried to make Tony Romo seem cool. I didn’t forget. No.

Anyway, here are the 50 most interesting players heading into the 2023 NFL season:

1. Aaron Rodgers: I love all the Aaron Rodgers propaganda we’re being fed already.

Every time I open an app, I see a clip of Sauce Gardner giving Rodgers a chain or Rodgers completing a 13-yard pass to Garrett Wilson.

Plus, the Jets are about to be on Hard Knocks so this entire preseason is dedicated to rehabbing Rodgers’s reputation as if he’s not one press conference away from quoting Jordan Peterson.

Video: It looks like the Aaron Rodgers to @GarrettWilson_V connection is about to take over the league.

Is Wilson the second most talented WR Rodgers ever played with?pic.twitter.com/XlxeNF9jHO

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) July 25, 2023

Aaron Rodgers seems like a moody asshole and no one wants to spend a year with a coworker who smiles and greets them with a good morning one day and totally ignores them the next.

But he’s 39 years old and was traded to New York to win a Super Bowl.

The Jets start the season against Buffalo, Dallas, New England and Kansas City. Aaron Rodgers could go 0-4 and start saying the most ridiculous quotes you’ve ever heard.

I cannot wait to see this man’s downfall.

2. Saquon Barkley: What a scab.

After becoming the face of running back financial inequity and hopping on a running backs-only zoom call to discuss a plan of action to get top guys at that position paid more, Saquon immediately took a deal from the Giants to go from the $10 million he would have received from signing the franchise tag to a whopping $11 million and most of that million being totally dependent on him hitting specific statistical benchmarks.

Lifelong Giant, baybeeee. Middle fingers up to workers’ solidarity.

3. Kadarius Toney: The Doja Cat of the NFL—Toney spends most of his free time attacking Giants fans online.

If you wear a Giants jersey and say his name three times in the bathroom mirror, Kadarius Toney appears behind you. As I write this, Kadarius is standing under my ring camera cursing me out.

Currently, he’s injured once again. The only thing Toney loves more than fighting Giants fans on Twitter is missing practices.

4. Ezekiel Elliot: Narrowly escaping my no-Cowboys rule by signing a contract with the Patriots and being 3 years too late to win that automatic New England championship ring.

I will say, Elliot is one of the last big running back stars and it sucks he much his production has fallen off a cliff.

But at least once a year, Bill Belichick will have an entire gameplan of running the ball every single time in a North East blizzard so Zeke will get plenty of opportunities to prove he’s still got it.

(I do not think he’s still got it).

5. Odell Beckham Jr: Odell Beckham is one of the most electric wide receivers I have ever seen in my life and unfortunately, he won’t come anywhere near the Hall of Fame because his legs can’t physically handle a full 17-game schedule and most of his career was spent with Eli Manning throwing wet pool noodle passes at his shoe laces.

Recently, Odell said this may be his final season but I get the feeling if the Ravens have the type of season I think this team is capable of and Odell returns to his All-Pro numbers then we’re going to see a lot more ODB.

Lamar Jackson and Odell Beckham Jr together is already the coolest combination in the NFL. Definitely cooler than Daniel Jones and Cole Beasley.

6. Lamar Jackson: I’m not going to let people get away with the wild slander they were throwing at Lamar Jackson during his contract dispute with the Ravens.

Isn’t it interesting how much nonsense everyone had to say about Lamar but the second Baltimore gave him the bag, suddenly it was radio silent.

The NFL media is nasty and remarkably unoriginal. At least the NBA has hot takes weirdos like Nick Wright.

In the NFL, everyone says the same exact shit all at the same exact time. Straight up laziness.

7. Kayvon Thibodeaux: This man murdered a quarterback and made snow angels on the turf as the QB had a seizure next to him. That’s generational talent.

This is about to be Thibodeaux’s coming-out party.

Especially now that Isaiah Simmons is pass-rushing on the other side so teams can’t double anyone. DPOY votes on the way.

9. Daniel Jones: Mike Kafka was supposed to be the heir to Andy Reid’s thrown but the Chiefs kept winning Super Bowls and Reid kept coming back so now he’s the OC for the second season with the Giants.

I trust Kafka’s brain to trick the league into believing Daniel Jones is one of the best QBs in the league.

10. Josh Allen: The ‘experts’ no longer putting Josh Allen in the same tier as Patrick Mahomes and Joe Burrow.

Meanwhile, Josh Allen is on the cover of Madden and playing with his new girlfriend from that Marvel show I’m never watching.

Get ready to see some of the most unique turnovers you’ve ever seen.

11. Stefon Diggs: Uh, Stefon Diggs has been going through something.

He singlehandedly derailed OTAs and really wanted the Bills organization to know he was unhappy.

He claimed he wanted more targets but he’s one of the most targeted players in the NFL.

I think Diggs is looking around the room and seeing the Bills are a sinking ship while the AFC continues to get stronger and he wants off the Titanic.

Diggs is going to be an absolute asshole this season and I cannot wait.

12. Deshaun Watson: Fuck this guy.

13. Mehki Beckton: Keep Aaron Rodgers on his feet or every TV show will know your name. Goodspeed, Mehki.

14. Justin Fields: Unfortunately, now that Lamar Jackson has been paid, Justin Fields has become the new polarizing quarterback who is either being treated like he should build a massive trophy case in his home or he should get his CDL.

15. Tyrann Mathieu: Last season, Mathieu recorded the most tackles of his career.

It was also his worst overall season in years which means either the Saints acquired one of the most dynamic players in the NFL and stripped him of everything that makes him great or he was bored playing on a shit team.

At age 30, I’d like to imagine Matthieu still has some All-Pro in him. Or he’s slowly declining which sucks.

16. Breece Hall: Coming back from an ACL tear and suddenly you’re playing with Aaron Rodgers and Dalvin Cook.

I’m sure the new pressure won’t affect him but we cannot pretend there aren’t brand new expectations of him that he didn’t have last season.

Hall is only 22 years old.

He’s one of the youngest players in the NFL and his backup is an established All-Star and his new QB is a dickhead.

Let’s pray Breece is a Ball is Life guy and he’ll ignore all the bullshit.

17. James Bradberry: He’s going to have two incredible games next season. Both will be against the Giants.

18. Baker Mayfield: Baker has recently been named the starting quarterback of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

He was drafted no. 1 overall despite physically being incapable of playing quarterback at the NFL level. He’s been the starter every single place he’s been despite never being noticeably better than any of his backups.

And he once again has finessed a new franchise into believing he’s QB1. Scammer’s Hall of Fame. First ballot.

19. Zach Wilson: Aaron Rodgers is old enough to get discounts at certain diners.

There’s a very good chance he doesn’t play 17 games which means Zach Wilson is going to be jogging out there on a football field to do more weird shit but most importantly, his mom will be front and center complaining about everything with her face that looks just like Zach’s face but if it were stretched out over a body pillow.

20. Mac Jones: The New England Patriots cut both backup QBs from the roster.

Last season, Belichick gave his 2nd year QB a terrible defensive coordinator and football’s talented Mr. Ripley to coach him up and this season, he removed all of his backups.

When Mac Jones retires (which might be sooner than later) his first guest appearance on a podcast is going to be must-listen.

That man is getting his life ruined by Belichick and all Mac Jones did wrong was not be Bill’s first love, Thomas Brady.

21. Bijan Robinson: I don’t know if this is such a bold take but I think Bijan Robinson is going to single-handedly drag the Falcons to the playoffs this season.

The NFC South is the saliva at the bottom of a Gatorade bottle. Someone has to win it.

I’ll go with Atlanta.

22. Jalen Carter: If I witness someone get killed a few hours after the happiest moment of my life, I’d have a difficult time getting ready to go to work but perhaps the Eagles have a good support system for accomplices and enablers.

23. Kyler Murray: The man tore his ACL and suddenly the world is acting like he stinks at football and the Cardinals should do everything in their power to move on from him at the end of the year even though two years ago he went 9-5 as a starter.

It’s very possible they shut Murray down the whole season to improve their chances of getting Caleb Williams from USC but I wouldn’t be shocked if Murray returns and wins the Cardinals juuuust enough games to take them out of contention to replace him in the draft before he re-injures himself leaving Arizona in hell next offseason.

It would be so funny.

24. Sam Howell: Sam Howell has the opportunity to do the funniest thing. I have no idea yet, whether Howell is a good quarterback or not.

I don’t think anyone knows.

But neither does Ron Rivera who says he didn’t know he good throw a football until his week 17 game against Dallas. We need to have a conversation about Rivera’s dementia but we’ll save that for another day.

25. Sauce Gardner: Aaron Rodgers’s new best friend.

If Rodgers and the Jets offense have a great year and the defense falls short, let’s see how the friendship goes. Aaron is going to throw Sauce under the bus so quick.

26. Jack Campbell: The linebacker out of Iowa selected no. 18 overall pick of the 2023 NFL Draft by the Detroit Lions is going to have a great rookie campaign.

Or not. I don’t know.

But he’s on this list because I know for a fact Colin Cowherd or Stephen A. Smith is going to say he’s the son of Lions head coach, Dan Campbell and they are going to be wrong as shit and trending on Twitter for 48 hours as we all mock them. It’s inevitable.

27. Anthony Richardson: Of all rookie quarterbacks, Anthony Richardson has the highest ceiling and the lowest floor. He could become a Cam Newton/Josh Allen-level MVP or he’s JaMarcus Russell 2.0.

Unfortunately, he plays for a Colts organization run by a crackhead who is electing to fight the star running back that could be used as a necessary pressure release valve for their rookie QB.

Your career could really end before it starts just by being drafted by the wrong team. Sports are so cool and fun.

28. CJ Stroud: Historically, Ohio State quarterbacks have been mid.

Also not a great history for the second quarterback taken in the draft like Zach Wilson or Sam Darnold. Although, maybe that says more about the Jets than anything.

Stroud may not have A+ weapons yet but he plays well enough to make Houston think he’s capable of running the team long-term then they’re entering next offseason with a TON of cash to stack the roster up. OR, they’ll have a TON of cash to replace Stroud with a better QB.

Truly all up to Stroud.

29. Bryce Young: There are certain teams I simply do not give a shit about heading into the 2023 NFL season. This list won’t be flooded with a ton of Carolina Panthers.

The one player who can get me to care is Bryce Young who might be the next Russell Wilson (Seattle Seahawks) or the next Russell Wilson (Denver Broncos).

Either way, he’ll have my attention.

30. Kyle Pitts: Pitts is entering his 3rd NFL season and somehow, every time I see a top tight ends list, he’s in the Top 5. Mind you, Kyle Pitts has 3 career touchdowns.

I’ve never seen someone garner such high praise without actually doing anything of any significance on a team that doesn’t seem interested in winning football games.

31. Matty Stafford: Recently, Stafford revealed that he’s struggling to connect to his younger teammates and even has trouble remembering everyone’s names and they use their phones too much and other lame stereotypes about younger people.

The problem is, Stafford’s arm is hanging together through prayers and the most exotic painkillers known to man. If he starts the season the way he did last year (3 interceptions, a fumble and sacked 7 times) then the other 52 children Stafford is struggling to connect with might lose faith in their elderly leader.

32. Jordan Love: I don’t know if Jordan Love is going to be good. There’s truly no way to know.

But shout out to everyone in the NFL media who is using him to get their hot takes off.

Whether they believe he’s the next Brett Favre or think he’ll be working at Ruby Tuesdays next year, there are a lot of assholes getting Twitter engagement from pretending to know what Love is capable of.

Personally, I’m going to sit and wait and watch because I don’t get a fucking prize by making predictions.

No one cares about your predictions.

Look at me. No one cares about your predictions.

33. Zaire Franklin: Zaire has a new podcast on the Joe Budden Network.

The last person who had a podcast under Joe was sexually harassed live on camera. Zaire Franklin must reallyyyy want to grow his celebrity outside of the football field if he’s willing to let a failed rapper grope him at work but whatever it takes to get the bag, I reckon.

Carry mace, Zaire.

34. Michael Thomas: The only thing stopping the New Orleans Saints from having the best wide receiver duo is Michael Thomas.

I remember when Michael Thomas caught 149 passes.

That happened, right? RIGHT?

He’s only 30 years old and yes, injuries can change a player’s career trajectory.

See Odell.

But there has to be something left, right? RIGHT??

35. Austin Ekeler: No one has been stuck in Los Angeles this long since Tom Hanks in The Terminal. Ekeler has been trying to get paid and demanding a trade for what feels like my entire life. Or I’m getting him mixed up with Melvin Gordon—the previous Chargers running back who begged for a raise and was ignored. Either way, I hope Ekeler has a productive season.

Maybe he’ll be able to make an extra $200 signing autographs or something. Rent is due soon.

36. Eli Apple: If you want to give up a big play to a receiver in the most crucial part of the game in an embarrassing fashion that will 1000% be mocked for weeks on the internet, you should for sure give Eli Apple a 1-year deal.

I am so excited for the Apple game where the Dolphins lose in the final seconds thanks to his pass interference as time expires.

37. Desmond Ridder: I have convinced myself that the Falcons are winning at least 10 games and in order for that to happen, all Ridder has to do is get the ball to Drake London, Kyle Pitts or Bijan Robinson and get the fuck out of the way. Just be slightly better than Marcus Mariota which shouldn’t be too hard.

After watching Quarterback on Netflix, it seemed like Mariota had NO idea where the ball was going when the ball left his hands which I imagine is a problem for a professional quarterback.

38. Mike White: If there’s one thing Tua Tagovailoa is going to do, it’s use all his sick days.

All I want is for Tua to save his life-altering injury for the week the Dolphins play the Jets so Mike White can drop 500 yards on his old squad’s head.

39. Latavius Murray: Latavius Murray was in the 2013 NFL Draft.

Among all active running backs, Murray ranks 5th in career touches.

Backs aren’t supposed to last this long.

He is quietly becoming the next Frank Gore getting 500 rushing yards a year for the remainder of our lives. Probably not this year though.

He’s on the Bills and they have no idea how to run the ball.

40. JuJu Smith-Schuster: There is a report this week saying JuJu Smith-Schuster’s knee is a ‘mess’. That stinks, man.

He was supposed to be a Hall of Famer in his Pittsburgh days and his career was derailed by injuries and Instagram Live.

Now he’s stuck in hell with Mac Jones throwing terrible passes at his feet with his knees swelling up.

He’s 26. How did we get here?

41. Jalin Hyatt: Just type Jalin Hyatt into Twitter and watch all of his highlights.

“That was Jalin Hyatt speed” ⚡️

Sights & Sounds 🎥: https://t.co/8sRMyGKLEE pic.twitter.com/pGJOiLj1hz

— New York Giants (@Giants) August 21, 2023

Shhh. The Giants just STOLE a star in the third round.

42. Calvin Ridley: Ridley hasn’t played football since 2021 because he was caught sports betting. What a trendsetter.

But I actually like Calvin coming off a couple years off from being hit. This could be his most productive season playing with the most talented quarterback he’s ever had.

43. Nick Bosa: This is about to be a HUGE year for Nick Bosa. Election season is heating up and his boy is being indicted.

All Kyle Shanahan has to do is show Bosa a photo of Trump’s mugshot before the game and he’s going to rip a QB’s head off.

44. Chris Jones: Why is Chris Jones holding out? He’s been an All-Pro almost every single season. He had 15 and a half sacks last season.

He’s one of the best pass-rushers of his generation. He’s a future Hall of Famer.

And the Chiefs are playing hardball for some reason? Ok.

45. Jalen Ramsey: Arguably the best corner not named Darrelle Revis in a new division against Aaron Rodgers and Josh Allen (and Mac Jones lol). This could be the season that gets him in the Hall of Fame.

46. Aaron Donald: I think the legends of Aaron Donald’s decline have been greatly exaggerated.

Aaron Donald’s new training regimen involves … KNIVES!? (via @2_10ths) pic.twitter.com/h2YG2HSJa4

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) April 2, 2018

I will never doubt the man who trains with knives. Never.

47. Derek Carr: The biggest crybaby in the NFL is finally leaving the comfort of the Raiders. No organization left to protect him when he’s mid all season. Jameis Winston breathing down his neck just waiting to throw 30 interceptions.

Carr is going to visibly cry at least twice this season.

48. Kareem Hunt: Kareem Hunt is currently unsigned. He is learning the important lesson that you cannot kick a woman in the head AND be a running back.

Your career will be taken from you. If he was a wide receiver, eh, he gets at least one domestic but a running back?? SEEEE YAAAA KAREEEM.

49. Damar Hamlin: Last season, Damar Hamlin died on the field for a few minutes and we had to just keep watching a Bills game as if God hadn’t arrived and attempted to snatch a player’s soul on live television.

This year, he made the final roster cut but I’m curious how long we treat Hamlin like a dying Make-A-Wish kid despite being a mediocre safety with no real future in the NFL.

50. Tom Brady: We all know he’s coming back, right?

Tom Brady will 1000000% throw an NFL pass this season. Once an addict, always an addict.