Whatever Team Signs Carson Wentz Will Have Themselves a Once in a Generation QB

At the end of February, the Washington Commanders released Carson Wentz. While the Packers and Jets are playing chicken over Aaron Rodgers and teams are pretending as if Lamar Jackson is asking for a billion dollars and the blood of their firstborn sons, Carson Wentz somehow remains unsigned.

Carson Wentz is such a unique talent that could turn a franchise around in one season. There is truly no one else in the league like him. Whatever team finally decides to sign Carson Wentz is guaranteeing themselves the no. 1 overall pick in the 2024 NFL Draft.

Last season, Wentz battled injuries and only started 7 games. He won 2 of those games. One of those wins came Week 1 against a Jaguars team that was still sweating the Urban Meyer out of their bloodstream and the other win was against an atrocious Bears team—and Wentz only moved the ball 99 yards, scored zero points and completed 5 first downs.

There is no one else available who will jog onto a field looking like he was designed in a lab to be an NFL starting quarterback, only to immediately throw a literally shocking interception.

Like, you know how the NFL broadcast only shows the quarterback in the pocket and we don’t see any of the receivers running routes until the ball is thrown to them? Wentz will have the cleanest pocket. He’ll be back there massaging the ball like he’s petting a puppy. Comfortable as hell. And then launch a missile directly into a linebackers facemask for a pick-six to start his team in an 0-7 hole in the first quarter.

And if there’s a chance for your team to still win a game in the 4th quarter, Wentz will do what he does best:

Carson Wentz with a backbreaking interception? NFL is officially back. pic.twitter.com/5HHVRoWshU

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 11, 2022

Teams like the Indianapolis Colts, Tennesee Titans and the Denver Broncos should be rushing to sign Carson Wentz. What’s the alternative? You run out Ryan Tannehill or Russell Wilson and you win 5-9 games. Sick. You are stuck in quarterback purgatory and you end up in a Cleveland Browns situation where you end up selling your sell for a dude who tricked women into watching him jizz on himself.

Oh, it’s important to recognize who will be available in the 2024 NFL Draft.

Meet Caleb Williams, one of the best QB prospects of our lifetime:

Don’t know about y’all, but I would be perfectly fine with Caleb Williams as the next #Commanders franchise QB pic.twitter.com/2CTbIOMpuq

— Thomas Richard (@ThomasRichardDC) March 12, 2023

I can’t stop laughing at this spin move from Caleb Williams. pic.twitter.com/B6RD3acPuj

— Nick Penticoff (@NickPenticoff) March 17, 2023

Here’s what Caleb Williams did in his sophomore campaign this past season:

4,537 passing yards (3rd in the country)
66% completion percentage
42 passing touchdowns (led the country)
5 interceptions
10 rushing touchdowns
168.5 passer efficiency rating

He won the Heisman…obviously.

This year, there are debates of who should go no. 1. Whether it’s Bryce Young or CJ Stroud or whoever. But in 2024, there will be one guy every team will want: Caleb Williams.

And Carson Wentz is just sitting by his phone for some reason when we all know he could lead a team to an 0-17 season easily. Doesn’t matter what level of talent is around him, Wentz WILL get sacked on a key third down because he held onto the ball too long staring a wide receiver down and ignoring the blindside pass rush.

Carson Wentz can hand deliver a future Hall of Famer to an organization. Unleash Wentz. Give him complete control of the offense and let’s all watch what will be one of the most hilarious seasons in NFL history.