Time To Work On Your Resume, Jeff Saturday

I was hesitant to sit here and write another article dunking on Jeff Saturday because I think I’ve done it every week since he was inexplicably hired as the Indianapolis Colts interim head coach but this Saturday, the Colts blew a 33-point lead and I can’t not say something about it.

At some point, you have to feel bad for the position Saturday was put in. The Colts handed him a lemon and every week, Saturday has to drive cross country in this lemon and we finally saw the car completely shut down. The Colts were up 33-0 nothing at halftime and lost 39-36. The biggest blown lead in NFL history. Fucking brutal.

You can’t even glass half full or silver lining this situation because Colts owner, Jim Irsay, is insistent that the team isn’t tanking which means there are actual expectations for Jeff Saturday to win football games with a roster full of guys who have no desire to win football games.

It’s insane that GM, Chris Ballard, seems to be skating under the radar even though he is directly responsible for bringing in Carson Wentz—an injury-prone loser who is hated by his teammates—and Matt Ryan—and victim of elder abuse getting ragdolled week after week by opposing pass rushers.

Saturday had no chance to succeed but like, he shouldn’t be blowing 33-point leads in one half. That’s an impressive level of bad. You almost have to march up and down the sideline demanding your team give up touchdowns. Screaming at the tops of his lungs begging the offense to fail every third down. There’s no other way.

And the worst part is, Jeff Saturday cannot go back to ESPN. I do not believe any word out of his mouth regarding football after watching him on the sidelines losing every week. He can’t just sit next to Mike Greenberg and Dan Orlovsky as if he wasn’t just the worst head coach in NFL history. At least Rex Ryan went to some AFC Championship games. Jeff Saturday lost to Kirk Cousins. The media career is over.

He seems like a good dude so I hope he saved his money from his old playing days because the coaching door is closed and the NFL media gig is over. The local grocery store is always looking for people to push the carts back to the front door so there are certainly still new and exciting career opportunities for Saturday.