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The Only Benefit of Being a Giants Fan is a Medium Soda

giants soda

After losing to the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday in one of the worst football games ever played, the Giants have secured their 5th consecutive 10-loss season. One of the most prestigious franchises in the NFL is the new laughing stock of the league and solidified their spot at the bottom by rewarding fans with…a soda.

The New York Giants rank 30th in scoring, they’ve won 4 games and sit in last place in their division. To show their appreciation for the fans who continue to show up to the stadium and support these losers, the organization gave out free medium-sized sodas. And not even in some commemorative cup or collectible. Just in some normal fountain soda cup you’d get at the local mall food court.

Giving out medium sodas is more disrespectful to fans than giving them nothing. Not a large soda. No free popcorn or hot dogs. Shit, it wasn’t even a Coca-Cola. A medium Pepsi. And to make things even worse, if you owned multiple season tickets, you only received one medium Pepsi. That means, if you brought your wife and kids to the game, the entire family got ONE fucking medium soda to share.

There is no reason to support this franchise. There’s a head coach who made players retire during preseason training camp because he made them run sprints and treated them like 8th graders trying out for the middle school team.

A quarterback who has thrown for over 300 yards in only 6 of his 38 career NFL games and is now dealing with a SPINE injury that will sideline him for the remainder of this atrocious season. A running back who was taken with the no. 2 overall pick and has a grand total of 429 rushing yards this year.

This team is completely void of talent. They are the Rob Schneider of the NFL. And what do you get for giving them your hard-earned money to pay for tickets, jerseys, parking and concessions? 1 free medium soda.

Dan Snyder should have the Washington Football Team taken away from him because his sole purpose of owning the team is to ejaculate. But John Mara should have the New York Giants team taken away from him as well. Snyder’s fetish is forcing women into reluctantly participating in inappropriate workplace sex acts. Mara’s fetish is pissing all over the fans. We get a golden shower and a medium soda.

 

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