Myles Garrett no longer wants to be a Cleveland Brown. In a statement released on NFL.com, Garrett indicated his watch had ended as the reigning 2023 Defensive Player of the Year wants to play for an organization that didn’t put all their eggs in a basket full of holes and cum-stained massage sheets. Here’s what […]
After losing 35-10 to the Baltimore Ravens in their final game of the 2024 NFL season to finish 3-14, solidifying themselves as one of the most poverty-ridden franchises in sports, the Cleveland Browns identified their biggest weakness and made immediate changes. The #Browns fired OC Ken Dorsey, per sources. pic.twitter.com/aev3VR90la — Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) January […]
Everyone thinks the worst of Deshaun Watson and I reckon I understand why. Before rupturing his Achilles in a Week 7 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals, Watson was 1-6 as a starter for the Cleveland Browns—always looking as if he was playing with 10-times gravity, either sailing passes above receivers’ heads or sidearming balls at […]
Deshaun Watson forced 20+ women to touch his little wee wee and was punished with the largest contract in NFL history. The Cleveland Browns traded for a guy who was spending his afternoons in courthouses, trying to convince judges that all these women were just telling similar lies, unprovoked, and not only did they give […]
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed most days but today was a particular hell. Perhaps it’s the holidays approaching or the fact that it gets dark outside before I even finish my lunch. But the day is truly turning around […]
Someone emailed me about bringing back the weekly losers column and who am I to rob people of their opportunity to point at some of the biggest losers in the NFL? Personally, I was trying to be more positive in my life but that’s just not me. I do my best work when I’m miserable. […]
The Minnesota Vikings have lost 4 of their first 5 games this season and with their star wide receiver Justin Jefferson on the injured reserve, it would make sense to start preparing for a Kirk Cousins trade—especially considering this is the final year of his contract. Get some assets and set yourself up for a […]
Netflix’s Untold Documentary series dropped a new episode this week about Johnny Manziel and he is exactly the person we all thought he was. Last time we heard about Manziel, he was a drunk loser and when the doc ends, he’s still a drunk loser. Personally, I don’t find the Johnny Manziel story particularly unique. […]
Don’t you just hate it when you spend all of your free time begging local massage therapists to leave their studios and meet you in hotel rooms or at your house so you can leverage your celebrity to pressure professional women into becoming sex workers against their will and then suddenly the whole world hates […]
DeAndre Hopkins has once again worn out his welcome. Last time, it was the Houston Texans and now, it’s the Arizona Cardinals who are releasing Hopkins after accusing him of sitting out games at the end of last season when he was secretly healthy. DeAndre Hopkins upset some in the Cardinals organization by sitting out […]
This week, Jalen Hurts became the highest-paid player in the NFL after signing a 5-year $255 million contract extension, including $110 million guaranteed upon signing with the Philadelphia Eagles. Eagles’ QB Jalen Hurts’ salary-cap numbers for the next four seasons after today’s $255 million extension: 🏈2023: $6.15 million 🏈2024: $13.56 million 🏈2025: $21.77 million 🏈2026: […]
Welcome to Ceiling/Floor where I dissect trades, signings, firings and hirings in order to determine the best case and worst case scenarios. Former No. 1 overall pick Baker Mayfield reached agreement today on a one-year deal worth up to $8.5 million with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, per sources. Mayfield is now in line to be […]
After serving an 11-game suspension for being a sex pest and begging every local Houston massage therapist to touch his little pee pee, Deshaun Watson finally makes his triumphant return to the NFL this Sunday as the Cleveland Browns play his former team, the Houston Texans. Such a heartwarming underdog story happening right before our […]
Deshaun Watson sexually assaulted at least 20 women and the NFL settled on an 11-game suspension with a $5 million fine as his punishment for literally rubbing his wee wee on unexpected strangers while they were at work. Any suspension that’s less than one full year is a disappointing mistake but it’s the NFL. This […]
The Cleveland Browns gave up both historic draft capital and record levels of cash to acquire a guy they knew was a sexual predator and surprisingly, that sexual predator might not even be allowed to play football this season. There are new reports saying Cleveland is interested in acquiring Jimmy Garoppolo from the San Francisco […]
Deshaun Watson tricked and pressured pretty much every female massage therapist in the city of Houston into touching his little wee wee and was rewarded with the biggest contract in NFL history from the Cleveland Browns. BUT, the NFL has decided to only suspend him 6 games despite 20+ women sharing their stories about how […]
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