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Oh Noooo Deshaun Watson Suffered a Season-Ending Injury Noooo

RIP BOZO

deshaun watson injury

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed most days but today was a particular hell. Perhaps it’s the holidays approaching or the fact that it gets dark outside before I even finish my lunch.

But the day is truly turning around for the better after I read Deshaun Watson will be undergoing season-ending shoulder surgery to repair a fracture in his throwing shoulder.

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Are we allowed to celebrate when athletes suffer injuries?

First, I have never subscribed to being ‘classy’. It’s always felt dog-whistling-y to me. Yes, it was lame for Toronto Raptors fans to cheer when Kevin Durant tore his achilles in the Finals but people aren’t robots.

Raptors fans realized their chance to win their first NBA Championship skyrocketed and they celebrated. They probably should’ve just happily whispered to the person next to them but let’s not pretend as if they are evil people. Kevin Durant ended up just fine. No one died.

You are absolutely allowed to celebrate when bad things happen to bad people.

30 WOMEN accused Deshaun Watson of sexual misconduct and Watson was rewarded with a 5-year, $230 million fully guaranteed contract.

Besides the cost of his lawyers, a couple checks given to a few of the victims and losing some sponsorships, Watson faced no real consequences for pressuring women into touching his little wee wee.

You do not have to feel sympathy for a guy who, to this day, still denies any wrongdoing and doesn’t understand the amount of pressure he put on those women when he could have easily called professionals who do that for a living. Watson could’ve hit up Bobby Kraft for the contact info.

Let us pray for a slow, grueling and painful recovery for the man who was given a raise after we found out he was a sexual predator.

Can the Browns make the playoffs without Deshaun Watson?

Although the Browns are 6-3, don’t make the mistake of believing that winning record has anything to do with Deshaun Watson.

Sure, Watson led a 5-minute, 80-yard drive leading to a game-winning field goal against the Baltimore Ravens last week but it was a pick-six by Greg Newsome and a big defensive stop the next drive that put Watson in a position to even win that game.

The Cleveland Browns have the no. 1 defense in the NFL. Myles Garrett leads the league in sacks and forced fumbles. Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah is 3rd in tackles for a loss. Za’Darius Smith is a monster. Grant Delpin is one of the best safeties in the game. Cleveland’s defense is the only reason why they’re in the playoff picture this year.

So far this season, Watson has fewer yards than Ryan Tannehill and Desmond Ridder. He has fewer touchdowns than Bryce Young and Mac Jones. He ranks 29th in completion percentage out of only 33 qualified QBs.

And it’s not just this season. Since joining Cleveland from the Houston Texans in March of 2022, Deshaun has been AWFUL and rarely even on the field.

Let’s look at Deshaun’s two years in Cleveland compared to Houston’s new QB, CJ Stroud:

Deshaun Watson in 2 seasons: 12 games, 2217 yards, 14 touchdowns, 9 interceptions

CJ Stroud in his current rookie year: 9 games, 2626 yards, 15 touchdowns, 2 interceptions

3 first-round draft picks and $230 million guaranteed.

If anything, this shoulder surgery is about to save the Browns season.

What does this Deshaun Watson injury mean for the overall AFC playoff picture?

If the season ended today, the Browns would be the second Wild Card team right ahead of the Steelers.

That’s a problem.

Because they play the Steelers this week and they’re starting rookie QB, Dorian Thompson-Robinson. Mike Tomlin and those Steelers are tying a bib around their neck, licking their lips and clutching a fork and knife as DTR gets handed to them on a silver platter.

DTR has one start this season against the Ravens. It didn’t go great. He completed only 52% of his passes for 121 yards and 3 interceptions. This is one of those games TJ Watt uses to win Defensive Player of the Year votes.

So it really comes down to whether or not this front office wants to take a swing at a free agent like Joe Flacco or Matt Ryan. If they stick to Dorian Thompson-Robinson, it’s great news for the Buffalo Bills who will most likely take their Wild Card spot.

But if they choose to sign someone off the street, they will instantly be as mid as Deshaun Watson has been or better.

Knowing the Browns morals, I assume they’re on the phone with Ben Roethlisberger right now offering him $230 million guaranteed to terrorize the local Ohio women.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it okay to hope Deshaun Watson’s shoulder never properly heals?  Leave a comment below. Respond on TwitterFacebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you feel bad for Watson so I can make fun of you forever.


 

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