The Philadelphia Eagles Robbed Us of the Funniest Super Bowl of All Time

As a Giants fan, I was forged in the fire of Eagles hatred. That hatred grew in the postseason last year when the Eagles sonned the Giants in the second round. But if they lost to the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship game then we were about to see one of the funniest possible Super Bowl matchups in NFL history.

After losing their 3rd string QB, the 49ers had to run out Josh Johnson. San Fran lost 7-31. It wasn’t even close, ya know, because they were one injury away from Kyle Shanahan playing quarterback himself.

BUT, if the 49ers were able to steal a victory over Philadelphia then the plan was to bring in Philip Rivers to face the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl.

Here’s Kyle Shanahan talking today about how he was in discussions all of last year with Philip Rivers in case of a worst case scenario situation:

(via @49ers) pic.twitter.com/XeM8L6Ukan

— Ari Meirov (@AriMeirov) August 10, 2023

“He was prepared to [come out of retirement],” Shanahan said Thursday. “Now that’s stuff we talked about throughout the whole year. We would’ve had to seen how that was for the Super Bowl, but that was the plan most of the year.”

Man, what could’ve been…

I don’t think you understand how incredible this Super Bowl would’ve been with Philip Rivers out there in a 49ers jersey.

See, Rivers had already been retired for TWO years. His final game was in 2020. The 49ers wanted him to throw passes in February 2023. Rivers was 40 years old and was more focused on putting a 10th baby inside of his wife than he was focused on PLAYING IN A SUPER BOWL.

In that Super Bowl, Jalen Hurts was blitzed 15 times. Pressured 9 times. Hurried 5 times. Hit twice and sacked twice. The only thing keeping Hurts on his feet was his own athletism and speed.

Yannick Ngakoue sack-forced fumble against #Colts Philip Rivers.pic.twitter.com/gpsaEUVbF6

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) September 20, 2020

Chris Jones and Frank Clark would’ve put Philip Rivers through the Earth’s crust like the Dudley Boyz. The Chiefs would’ve scored 100 points. We needed this elderly man out there not knowing a single 49ers play just dropping back and trying to find Christian McCaffrey no matter where he is. Rivers would’ve chucked that shit into the bench if he saw McCaffrey having a breather.

The Eagles deserved to lose this Super Bowl. Think of all the memes they took from us because Jalen Hurts just had to keep quarterback-sneaking into first downs. We could’ve had an elderly man dragged off his couch and thrown into the most important and most watched game of the year against the greatest quarterback of all time.

Fuck the Eagles.

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