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NFL Week 1 Power Rankings: Minkah Fitzpatrick is a Beast and Patrick Mahomes is HIM

2022 nfl awards

Every sports outlet does the same exact power rankings every week as if we are unaware that the Chiefs are the best team and the Lions are the worst. There are literal win-loss records that tell us who is good and who is not.

The Deadseriousness weekly power rankings will list who had the best performances over the course of the season.

Let’s take a look at the NFL Week 1 power rankings:

 

1. Patrick Mahomes

Patrick Mahomes was 30-for-39 for 360 yards and 5 touchdowns. It’s insane that Aaron Rodgers is the back-to-back MVP when Mahomes is so clearly the best quarterback in the league. He just dogwalked the Cardinals after losing his no. 1 wide receiver.

2. Minkah Fitzpatrick

The Pittsburgh Steelers put the Cincinnati Bengals in a headlock in Week 1 but it was Minkah Fitzpatrick who specifically stuffed Joe Burrow in a locker and took his lunch money. Minkah finished the game with 14 tackles and a pick-six.

The only problem for the Steelers is Mitch Trubisky being their starting QB. Trubisky and Fitzpatrick have scored the same amount of touchdowns so far. Minkah might single-handedly drag this team to the playoffs.

3. Brian Daboll

If Saquon Barkley can repeat or come anywhere near his 194-yard performance from last week then he will be high on this list but I’m not ready to crown him one of the league’s best yet. Instead, all credit will be given to new Giants head coach, Brian Daboll, for leading this team to a Week 1 victory over a playoff team and making a team full of scrubs look like All-Pro calibers guys.

4. Justin Jefferson

Prior to this season, I predicted Jamarr Chase would be the best receiver by the end of the year and they may still very much be the case but Justin Jefferson must’ve read my predictions and dedicated his Week 1 game to embarrassing my dumb ass.


5. Lamar Jackson

I don’t know how to feel about Lamar’s contract situation. On one hand, I’m cheering at the top of my lungs for the former MVP to go out there and prove he deserves fully guaranteed Deshaun Watson money. On the other hand, we know how this league works. They do not want to give any of these players any guaranteed money and no matter how much Lamar balls out, he may find himself in a precarious situation where the owners join forces to prove some point against him.

But look at what Lamar is doing other there. Give this man every single fucking dollar in the bank.

6. Khalil Mack

Death. Taxes. Khalil Mack ripping your quarterback limb from limb in the backfield after powerbombing an offensive lineman through the Earth’s crust. Mack had 3 sacks against his former Raiders squad. I know it was more of Jon Gruden’s decision to not give Mack the money he’s proven he deserves but I will assume Khalil still imagined every Raiders player was Gruden in a helmet and pads.

7. Josh Allen

There’s something about everyone’s sudden obsession with Josh Allen that almost made me want to go an entire year of power rankings without even mentioning his name but Deadseriousness is a fair and objective platform that is aware of how popular Josh Allen is and will be capitalizing off his popularity to acquire more readers from random Google searches of his name.

He is also played well or whatever but I’m definitely more interested in the SEO benefits of his inclusion in this article.

8. Cooper Rush

Cooper Rush didn’t do anything spectacular in his limited minutes against the Bucs on Sunday Night Football. He successfully completed a grand total of 7 passes for 64 yards and was sacked into dust twice.

But I had to put Rush in the Top 10 because he was a pretty average college quarterback at Central Michigan who shouldn’t even be on an NFL roster right now and not only did he get to play Week 1 against Tom Brady but he’s about to be the starting quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys for an extended period of time and I respect him scamming his way into a position he in no way deserves.

9. Myles Garrett

Can you imagine what Myles Garrett must’ve felt like the last 4 years with Baker Mayfield in the locker room thinking he was some sort of leader? Baker was so excited to play against his former team but you know who was even more excited and unlike Baker, didn’t feel the need to run in front of every microphone and say so? Myles Garrett who sacked Baker twice on Sunday.

10. Brian Flores

When Brian Flores was the head coach of the Miami Dolphins, he and the front office beefed over Tua Tagovailoa. People thought he mismanaged the situation by bringing in Ryan Fitzpatrick to split snaps with Tua and here’s what Tua did in his first attempt of the 2022 NFL season:

Brian Flores was right. Also, the NFL is racist. He’s right about that too.

11. Kyler Murray’s COD Clan

Kyler Murray had a clause in his contract that required him to spend more time watching film because apparently, he was playing video games too often. Call of Duty just had a double XP weekend meaning Kyler was 1000% on Xbox Live with the fellas gaming until his eyes bled.

Kyler had a decent game with 193 yards and 2 touchdowns but that is sort of the whole problem Arizona has with him. Kyler is so talented that he can just game all night and jog onto the field on Sunday without really trying. He’d be the best player in the NFL if he like, actually studied defenses and shit.

12. Geno Smith

In 2015, Geno Smith got his jaw punched off by his teammate and hasn’t bounced back from that moment. Personally, I cannot respect anyone who I just witnessed getting folded up like laundry. It’s the reason why I will never respect Dak Prescott. There’s still footage of that beatdown.

But Geno had some good drives early on against the Broncos on Monday night and that’s good for him. I doubt you will see his name on these power rankings ever again.

13. Carson Wentz fans

Shout out to the like, 7 Carson Wentz fans that still exist in 2022. Wentz won his first game for the Washington Commanders. Enjoy this moment because it’s about to be hell for you all season defending his atrocious turnovers and terrible decision-making.

For the rest of us who know and understand that Wentz is garbage, here is Wentz running his favorite play in the playbook: throwing an interception to a pass rusher.

Nature is healing.

14. D’Andre Swift

I decided to make these power rankings a list of 15 players and I guess I have to stick to this. Swift had a good game and ran for a lot of yards and that’s very cool. Go Lions! Sure.

15. Joe Burrow

Joe Burrow committed 5 turnovers and still led the game-tying drive against a Steelers team that beat his ass for the previous 3 hours. I also have to ride with my MVP prediction until the wheels fall off. Cool Joe Burrow had a disgusting game and still almost won. That’s my MVP right there.

 

 

 


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