Did Anyone Even Get a Playstation?

Friday afternoon, popular Twitch streamer Kai Cenat told fans about an impromptu PlayStation 5 giveaway at Union Square Park in Manhattan at 4pm.

By 3pm, thousands of kids fortunate enough to not have my parents—who forced me into summer camps every year so I didn’t end up rushing a public park in the middle of the day to meet an internet celebrity I have an unhealthy parasocial relationship with—stormed Union Square in what I can only imagine to be the dorkiest riot in the history of history.

Union Square Park in NYC getting trashed right now by a ‘gathering of lunchtime rowdies’ pic.twitter.com/BPr1rc1Yad

— Jack Poso 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) August 4, 2023

Kai Cenat arrested after ‘inciting a riot’ of thousands in Manhattan. pic.twitter.com/gbh8Joi477

— Daily Source (@DailySourceX) August 5, 2023

Kai Cenat held giveaway event in NYC that turned into a full blown riot 😳 pic.twitter.com/rpQLA2iTRC

— HOT SPOT (@HotSpotHotSpot) August 5, 2023

We can wag our fingers and shake our heads and question the youth and kids today and blah blah.

We can turn into Republicans demanding law and order and being cowards whenever something out of the ordinary occurs or there are too many black people in one location.

But I can’t help but wonder if anyone actually walked away with a Playstation 5.

By 6pm, there were 65 arrests, including Kai Cenat, and some injuries, some vandalism. Things to be expected when a bunch of kids who spend all of their time locked in their rooms watching other kids locked in their rooms playing video games finally go outside and interact with human life again.

This was Freaknik for incels.

I just think I would’ve been walking around, squeezing between kids doing Fortnite dances, trying to find out if anyone knows where the Playstations are.

Here’s what an 18-year old from Brooklyn said about the whole event:

“I just came out because I wanted to see them. I think a lot of kids thought they could get a free PC or PlayStation and start making money, but I just wanted to see Kai. He’s the biggest Black creator in America right now.”

See, these people weren’t even there for the PS5’s, they wanted to meet Kai Cenat and that’s cool or whatever but again, I would’ve been trying to find the truck with the free Playstations on it.

I understand a lot of teens sort of missed the George Floyd protests so this was their opportunity to look a cop straight in the eye and say “fuck you” with the protection of thousands of other teens preventing them from immediately being arrested or powerbombed by a twice-divorced, middle-aged Italian alcoholic who steals from evidence lockers but yea, if anyone wants to send a free Playstation 5 to Deadseriousness headquarters since apparently, no one seems to give a shit about them anymore, please hit the line.

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