thelesterlee
Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk have agreed to a cage fight.
Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg agree to hold cage fight https://t.co/RIJ5SflsGN
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) June 22, 2023
If Dana White can really get Zuckerberg and Musk into a cage, this will be his first big W in a long time.
In the last year, Dana White has been called out for not paying the fighters anywhere near what they deserve, he’s smacked the shit out of his wife on camera (and probably not in front of a camera too) and his lame ass slap league had like, 9 viewers per episode.
I was prepared to never think about that man again but he’s reeling me back in with CEO fights which could be the next bum fights but instead of exploiting the most downtrodden individuals on Earth, we get to see two of the biggest assholes of the 21st century who are totally absent of athleticism try to wrestle each other to the ground for “charity” I suppose.
I was also prepared to ignore this story solely due to Elon Musk’s involvement.
There is nothing Elon loves more than people talking about him.
When you sit down and think about it, both men are terrible CEOs who are directly responsible for the death of America.
But one seems dumb and oblivious to the obvious flaws in his product that allowed Russian bots to purchase ads and spread bullshit info that drastically altered the 2016 election and led us to this current era of conspiracy garbage and fake news nonsense while the other guy is just a proud scammer who makes a majority of his money selling cars that explode and he’s turned Twitter into a right-wing echo chamber because every person with the worst Q-anon style ideas all purchased blue check marks so their low-IQ thoughts are shoved down our throats every time we open the app.
In a perfect world, both men die on the way to the arena.
But if the Earth’s crust doesn’t open and swallow up the two demons they’ve left behind then we have to actually determine who we want to win this fight and Elon Musk is the last human on this decaying planet I ever want to see win or smile or have good things happen to.
Elon Musk is racist. Several former employees have come out and said as much as well as joined forces for a class action lawsuit against him.
Musk himself has said school are racists against white people.
A public school history teacher’s job is to literally tell students what happened in the past.
White people did a lot of evil shit to black and brown people. That happened.
If in 2023, you don’t want your kids to learn about that then you’re really telling on yourself.
Oh, you also can’t forget about the time Musk offered a flight attendant a horse in exchange for a happy ending massage.
Or the fact that Elon Musk hates trans people while simultaneously having a child who is trans.
He blamed his child transitioning on ‘Marxists’ which is something you say when you get your political talking points from a special needs guy named Catturd.
Mark Zuckerberg isn’t perfect by any means and I’m sure he has plenty of horrific tragedies in his closet but that’s one thing to like about him.
He keeps his disgusting ideologies to himself and only wants people to play in his little Metaverse that looks like he ripped off Wii Sports.
I’m praying Zuckerberg punches Musk’s head into soup but as I’m writing this I’m realizing there is no way Mark Zuckerberg hits hard enough to hurt anyone but I’m also realizing Elon Musk looks like his diet consists entirely of butter, wine and ketamine so I doubt it’ll take much force to rearrange his ribs.
Elon Musk’s bloody face will become my phone wallpaper. I’ll print it out and tape it to my mirror so I can smile every morning.
Or both men will get sweaty and tired and the fight will end without anything happening because they’re middle-aged dorks who gain nothing by actually hurting each other.
Just get these two men in a room together and light the place on fire. Please.
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