Every time I open up TikTok—which is like, once every, maybe, 70 or so days—I don’t understand the appeal of TikTok, I’m an old man and technology has passed me by—but I often scroll past someone sitting in their car or (unkempt) bedrooms questioning their reality or self-identity. As humanity has evolved from hunters and […]
The Marvel Cinematic has been weird. The world blew up with a global pandemic at the same time when Marvel put out strange nonsense like Shang-Chi and The Eternals—along with some wack-ass Disney Plus shows no one asked for. But Fantastic Four is their opportunity to right the ship. Let’s take a look at the […]
Life is hard. We have to make a million little micro decisions every day and then we have to get up and do it all again the next. This article is the third draft I started this morning because I couldn’t decide what to write about first. Bianca Censori never has to worry about that. […]
Emilia Perez is a French musical about a Mexican cartel kingpin who fakes their own death to start a new life as a trans woman—made by a French director who is completely dismissive of Mexican culture—starring Zoe Saldana desperately trying to win an Oscar, Selena Gomez, a billionaire who cries on social media about how […]
As an adult man with zero children, I was soooooo excited to see Disney’s live-action remake of Snow White. Well, until star, Rachel Zegler, opened her big lady mouth, turning Snow White woke and ruining a beloved classic. The 23-year-old shared her thoughts on the original story, mocking the plot and telling us that the […]
Joe Rogan is the funniest stand-up comedian of all time. The greatest game show host. Shout out to Fear Factor. And obviously, the most important and talented podcaster to ever unbox a microphone from Amazon. But this week, Rogan mentioned that Ukrainian president, Volodymyr Zelensky, asked to come on the podcast and Rogan refused. Joe […]
Many of you have moved on from the election. I’m jealous. It’s the only thing I think about. I haven’t slept in weeks. How did Kamala Harris lose to the carny that makes you spend $60 at a random pop-up festival ring toss game to win a teddy bear that only costs $5 you will […]
Saturday Night Live is my refuge after a long week of canvassing, fundraising and self-actualizing. It’s my haven, where my best buddies Colin Jost and Michael Che, and the other ones, make me forget about all the injustices in this world. With Donald Trump back in the White House, we need Saturday Night Live now […]
Over the summer, I went to go see Twisters in the theatre. I went to one of those 4DX movies where the seat moved when the characters were in danger and air would blow in your face when the tornados were near. It was absolutely lit. The vibes were immaculate—(once the SO and I changed […]
I love game shows. I’m a simple, slow Neanderthal. Jeopardy is a half-hour-long attack on my self-esteem as I struggle to get one answer right and if I do get it right, I don’t say my answer until after the contestant does and I’ll whisper to myself “Yea, I knew that.” The Floor has the […]
In the first 4 games of his NFL career, Malik Nabers immediately established himself as the best wide receiver in the league—capable of singlehandedly dominating a game despite catching balls from a guy who rarely throws with his eyes open and will stumble over his own cleats at least once a game. Until he suffered […]
The Bachelor franchise has me in a chokehold. Between The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise and now The Golden Bachelor, I am locked in every Monday night to see (white) people in their mid-20’s struggle to be borderline perfect suitors as they compete against 29 of their peers to win the heart of a […]
Welcome to Media Mayhem where I make fun of media people whose jobs I used to want when I was a teenager until I realized how unremarkable most of these folks are. This week we have Fox Sports 1 switching things up and RGIII and Sam Ponder getting fired on their day off. […]
This week, I saw Twisters so I am all the way back in on going to see big Summer blockbusters in theatres. Deadpool and Wolverine feels like an event I should be apart of. The first X-Men movie came out in 2000. Every Fox-produced X-Men movie was a pile of dogshit. If I’m being […]
Too Hot Too Handle is one of my favorite dating shows where 10 sociopaths go to an island expecting to hump everyone in their line of sight, only to find out hooking up is against the rules. It’s an interesting examination of how even the best-looking people in our society can still be overwhelmingly disgusting […]
Welcome to Deaderiousness movie reviews where we break down the good, the bad and the ugly of films we love, hate and just watched because we couldn’t find anything else. Spoilers, probably. What happens in A Family Affair? Okay, so Zac Efron plays Chris Cole, a movie star from some sort of Icarus-inspired trilogy concerned […]
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