Every morning, I roll over, grab the warm bottle of “Unwell” sitting on my nightstand—chug the oxygen out the plastic, eyes rolled back, bliss, euphoria—over, now that Alex Cooper is no longer producing her sweet, delicious Call Her Daddy juice.
Cooper’s Unwell Beverage Co., which she launched in partnership with Nestlé SA in 2025, is planning to introduce more flavors tied to the Halloween season and will subsequently cease production across all of the brand’s line of beverages, according to people familiar with the matter. Target Corp., the brand’s main distribution partner, is selling through its supply, the people said, asking not to be named because they aren’t authorized to speak about the plans publicly. (Source)
According to the Los Angeles Times, Unwell will drop a Halloween drink before shutting down operations. One final pumpkin harvest before the greatest beverage brand falls beneath the rubble of capitalism.
How can this brand shut down? According to this report, Target “is selling through its supply”, says an incredibly believable unnamed source, totally not just saving face. Respect to the courage of this brave whistleblower, despite their lack of “authorization,” still letting the LA Times know, “TARGET ACTUALLY SELLS MAAAAAD OF THESE JUICES TRUST ME WE ARE NOT CLOSING BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO BUY CALL HER DADDY JUICE”.
For the uninformed, the ones who need to rush their local Target, Jay-Z said so, to fill your cart with Unwell to understand the power of the potion—Call Her Daddy juice comprised of electrolytes, vitamins and caffiene, infused with protein, every important word you see on food packaging now.
…but for the girlies.
Beyond the ingredients, which position the beverage somewhere between sports drink and functional wellness elixir, Cooper wanted the drink to stand out among competitors by marketing it to women, she said at The New York Times’ DealBook Summit in 2024.
“Every time I went to pick up an energy drink or any type of hydration drink, it’s all catered to men,” she said. “If you go on their Instagrams, the packaging is for men and a lot of time it has to do with high performance, like you have to be a professional athlete to drink this and it’s all made for men, by men, marketed to men.”
What a visionary. Alex Cooper—the host of a podcast where celebrities go for low0stakes interviews, selling their newest whatever-the-fucks—was the first human on Earth to recognize all these colorful, addictive energy drinks are targeted toward men and think “women should also get this addiction as well”.
Actually, both she and her husband are business titans…
Cooper’s expansion into beverages accompanied her broader effort to become more than a podcaster. She and her husband Matt Kaplan founded Unwell, which encompasses her podcast business and his movie and TV production work. They quickly began adding other podcasts to the network and producing TV shows for Hollywood studios. Cooper also sells a line of a merchandise, hosts live events and recently launched an ad agency.
On Wednesday, Unwell raised money from Hollywood super agent Patrick Whitesell, who valued the entire business at $500 million. The money will largely be used to expand Cooper’s network, as well as the ad agency’s work. In April, Bloomberg reported on troubles at Cooper’s company, spurred in part by juggling too many business ventures, including executive turnover, shows that failed to become major hits and staff issues with Kaplan, who often yelled at employees. The company declined to comment at the time.
See, they were able to obtain money from investment firm WTSL, their first outside investment ever, ballooning a $500 valuation for a beverage company, that, two days later, shut down the beverage company.
All of this is good business.
That last part may sound like these two inxexperienced podcast, straying away from their money making formula—saying “vagina” into a microphone—thought they could build both a media empire along with an accompanying product line, failed to do so, and a buddy threw some cash in to keep them afloat—BUT that investment firm, I imagine, spoke with that earlier source who knew they were selling crazy in Target.
Again, all good business stuff happening here.
All I know is, I can’t wait for the special Halloween edition of Call Her Daddy juice and those employees Alex Cooper’s husband berated should’ve done their job better. “ooo, I’m not making enough money for the number of job responsibilities you’re asking me to complete“. Nobody wants to work anymore.
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