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Let’s Make Fun of Steven Crowder and His Hilariously Public Divorce

steven crowder

Steven Crowder is a failed stand-up comedian turned alt-right podcast loser who streams himself crying and complaining about the snowflake libs who, to him, are the ones crying and complaining about everything.

Crowder living in an entirely different reality might explain everything I’m about to describe in this article.

This week, Crowder went on his show—where he looks still drunk from the night before in front of a faux-brick wall so he can pretend as if he’s fulfilled his stand-up comedy dreams and he keeps a gun on the table to remind his low IQ audience that he’s on their side—to tell everyone he’s going through a tough divorce.

Aw.

Here he is, already looking like the most divorced man in America, letting us know two things: 1.) He never hit his wife and 2.) it wasn’t his idea to get divorced and he had no choice.

Many conservative men have campaigned against no-fault divorce laws that allow women to leave them without needing proof of abuse or cheating.

Of course, this fits their whole brand.

They don’t want women getting abortions or divorcing them or having any real control of their lives at all. Because of the bible or some shit.

“My then-wife decided that she didn’t want to be married anymore and in the state of Texas, that is completely permitted.”

Poor guy.

His wife—who has had to deal with Crowder’s increasingly more toxic and dangerous rhetoric, ideologies and behaviors—no longer wants to spend her life with a man who had to specify there was no ‘physical abuse’ because he knew it would leak that there was emotional abuse.

AND SURE ENOUGH, it was leaked that there was emotional abuse.

Footage from the (former) family’s Ring camera caught Crowder berating his pregnant wife for wanting to go out and take the family car instead of staying home and performing her ‘wifely duties’ which included giving medication to their dogs that was potentially harmful to pregnant women.

Here’s what his wife’s side told the reporter that dropped this video (I would imagine the family also provided him the Ring camera footage too):

“The truth is that Hilary spent years hiding Steven’s mentally and emotionally abusive behavior from her friends and family while she attempted to save their marriage. She was the one who was asking to work on their relationship to keep the marriage intact for their unborn children,”

This divorce tells you everything you need to know about these conservative podcast dorks.

They spend all day telling you that conservatives are real men and liberals are genderless pussies.

Then they go home to their wives and whine for them to do their ‘wifely duties’ while they sit there smoking cigars because they think that’s what men do.

These are the same people who tell you they’re the hardest workers and that people on the left are lazy and want hand-outs.

Here’s Steven Crowder working so hard he can’t even find the time to walk his own dog.

His wife can’t go out for a second because he might want to go to the gym later and complain about her in the sauna with several other naked men hating women together. Hating off all over those saunas.

The term “wifely duties” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here too.

“Wifely duties” means bearing my children and stopping what you’re doing to satisfy my completely random and abrupt needs.

These dudes will claim to be the face of masculinity but to them, masculinity only means having power over those you deem weaker and less-than—and to Steven Crowder, that means his (ex) wife.

Good luck to Crowder and the geeks like him who will now passionately and desperately attempt to change the no-fault divorce laws in this country without taking a step back and thinking “hey, maybe one day I might want to divorce my wife without proof of physical abuse or infidelity’.

Nope, it’s all about making sure women lose all autonomy over their lives and ensuring they are turned into furniture to be stepped on and jizzed in.

This power is crucial to these dweebs.

It’s the reason this family only has one car.

Crowder was in the news recently for turning down a $50 million contract to sign with The Daily Wire.

If you can afford to turn down $50 million then you can afford a second car.

But if you own a second car then your wife will have the freedom to go do things and have her own life without being under your thumb and you can’t have that now.

Maybe your wife might meet a man who actually respects her as a human. You can’t have that.

I almost felt bad for his wife until I remembered conservative women are often just as racist, homophobic and misogynistic as their spouses and then act surprised when their husbands—who spend all day dunking on women—then come home and treat them poorly.

You ordered this meal, sweetie.

Anyway, here’s a clip of Steven Crowder getting his ass beat at a union worker protest because—after years of harassing college students and trans kids—he finally interacted with actual adult men whose priorities extend past what gender the fucking M&M’s are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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