9 Biggest Losers of NFL Week 2

Week 2 is in the books. MY New York Giants are 2-0 so this weekly loser article is about the rest of the NFL.

Here are the 9 biggest losers of Week 2:

1. Matt Ryan

The Colts ran 48 offensive plays for a grand total of 218 yards. Here’s what former MVP, Matt Ryan, contributed to the offense:

Matt Ryan today vs. Jacksonville:

16-for-30 (53%)
195 yards
0 touchdowns
3 interceptions
Sacked 5 times
34.0 passer rating

Miiiight be time for Indy to hit Andrew Luck with a ‘u up?’ text pic.twitter.com/UrUkMUQ3Hd

— Dead Serious (@Deadseriousness) September 18, 2022

Matt Ryan will most likely make the Hall of Fame when his career is over—and if you’ve watched the Colts so far, then you know his career might be over by Christmas—but he will be the worst QB in the Hall.

2. Team doctors

In 2020, Tyrod Taylor suffered a rib injury. The Los Angeles Chargers team doctor treated that rib injury by puncturing my man’s lungs and nearly murdering him. Tyrod Taylor is now suing that doctor. That same doctor is currently treating Justin Herbert for his current rib injury. I hope everyone enjoyed watching Herbert play so far. This doctor is about to send him to the undertaker.

Jameis Winston went into Sunday’s week 2 game against the Bucs with 4 fractures in his back. The Saints allowed him to play football with FOUR fractures in his back. Andy Dalton is his backup. He could’ve easily lost to Tampa Bay too but nope, team doctors are out here trying to kill these players for no reason at all.

3. Matt Rhule

I have nothing but negatives to say about Matt Rhule as an NFL head coach but I don’t need to go back to all of my previous examples. The Carolina Panthers committed two fumbles in their first two possessions to start their game against the Giants. That’s a team totally unprepared to play football on Sunday. Like, do the Panthers even practice?

Matt Rhule and Baker Mayfield are the leaders of this team. The Panthers are winning zero games this season.

4. Dak Prescott

We can all pretend as if Dak Prescott is excited the Dallas Cowboys are winning football games while he’s injured but there is no part of me that realistically believes Dak—the face of the Cowboys—enjoys seeing Cooper Rush beat the defending AFC champions.

Does anyone else remember when ESPN had 24/7 Dak Prescott contract negotiation segments on all of their shows? It was the only fucking thing anyone in sports media would talk about. Dak finally got his big deal and now the team doesn’t even need him. Not a great look for Dakota.

5. Gunner Olszewski

CGS alum @GunnerOlszewski meet CGS alum @SchoolerBrenden… pic.twitter.com/2niW4lLu0d

— The College Gridiron Showcase (@CGSAllStar) September 18, 2022

Lol.

6. Odell Beckham Jr

Odell Beckham Jr was on pace to become the single greatest wide receiver in NFL history. Thanks to injuries, racism and Baker Mayfield, Beckham is 29 years old and out of the league attending the Bucs-Saints game like an ordinary fan.

Odell Beckham Jr. is in New Orleans today for Saints-Bucs … and he bumped into Tom Brady during pregame warmups.

(🎥 @Buccaneers)pic.twitter.com/L27dcJFQgu

— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) September 18, 2022

If you look at this clip closely, you can see Odell slipping his resume in Brady’s back pocket.

7. Marshon Lattimore

Mike Evans & Marshon Lattimore have been ejected after this fight 🍿
pic.twitter.com/25NifN3x8U

— PFF (@PFF) September 18, 2022

I have no enemies. No opps to speak of. I write little jokes online and re-watch The Simpsons. No one is trying to take my head off. But even I know that if I DID have an arch nemesis, I’d constantly keep my head on a swivel. Especially if I knew I was going to spend three straight hours in the same room as them.

Marshon Lattimore and Mike Evans have beef except Lattimore seems to always forget that when the Saints play the Bucs and once again, Mike Evans tried to beat his ass and Lattimore got bodyslammed. Time to hire security or some shit, my guy.

8. Kyle Pitts

In week 1, Kyle Pitts recorded 2 catches for 19 yards. In week 2, Kyle Pitts recorded 2 catches for 19 yards. When you’re projected to be the next Antonio Gates or Tony Gonzalez, you probably expect more targets and fewer blocking assignments.

So far, this potential generational prospect has 4 more catches this season than I do. I just looked for a photo of him to use in this article and realized I have no idea what this man looks like. The Falcons should be relegated to the XFL.

9. Rusell Wilson

Everyone is dunking on first-time head coach, Nathaniel Hackett and fairly so. Hackett has no control over the game or the clock. He has no idea when to kick, punt, or go for it on 4th down. All skills an NFL head coach would need.

But don’t let Hackett being terrible at his job distract you from the fact that Russell Wilson has been incredibly average thus far and if I’m making a list of losers then quite frankly, Russell belongs on this list for his weird-ass social media shit alone.