You Should Feel Bad For Deshaun Watson Because He Had a Childhood or Something

Don’t you just hate it when you spend all of your free time begging local massage therapists to leave their studios and meet you in hotel rooms or at your house so you can leverage your celebrity to pressure professional women into becoming sex workers against their will and then suddenly the whole world hates you for forcing 20+ women to touch your little wee wee and everyone, for some reason, treats you like sexual predator?

Yea, Deshaun Watson too.

This week, Deshaun was fed up with media narratives and wanted to tell his story.

#Browns Deshaun Watson on telling his story to his teammates pic.twitter.com/7kRN0tvIMi

— Mary Kay Cabot (@MaryKayCabot) July 23, 2023

“When I was a young kid, I didn’t think about the NFL. I didn’t know I was gonna make it out of high school. Not having a father figure. Ever. Being 27 years old, I’ve only seen him 4 times. Different things like that, it’s things people don’t really hear about. Especially last year with the media directing and narrating something else”.

You really have to feel bad for Deshaun at this point.

Alllll the media wants to talk about are the dozen or so lawsuits against him for exposing himself to some women and sexually assaulting some others. Blah blah.

Did you guys even know he had a childhood? Deshaun Watson is the first human on Earth to grow up without a father and you’re all more focused on his countless sex crimes.

Thankfully, he was given the opportunity to sit all his teammates down and tell his unbelievably unique story.

I’m sure all the boys were weeping when they found out Deshaun Watson was the first person to ever grow up poor.

But nope, the media refuses to talk about all of the obstacles Watson has overcome and instead, they keep focusing on all the obstacles he’s created for others. Disgusting.

Look, he apologized already.

He went to his NFL-mandated sex rehab and he proved how much he’s matured by sitting through an entire therapy session without trying to rub his boner on the therapist.

Now, you could make the argument that if Deshaun Watson didn’t want everyone treating him like a sexual predator then he shouldn’t have become a sexual predator but we can’t keep living in the past. Like, the man only saw his dad 4 times in his life. He had no choice but to become a pervert.

The media never wants to talk about the actual on-the-field product. Um, while you all wouldn’t shut up about Watson terrorizing Houston masseuses, you missed out on him going 3-3 in his 6 starts last season.

Watson threw 7 touchdowns, okay. Also 5 interceptions and 1 fumble but 7 touchdowns. He threw for 183.7 yards per game and had a 38.3 QBR. But for some reason, the media won’t cover his 58% completion percentage and that he was statistically one of the worst starting quarterbacks in the NFL.

From now on, before you criticize Watson for being terrible at his job or being terrible when he leaves his job just remember he was a child once.

Random stray thoughts:

Do not be shocked when you see Deshaun Watson starring in season 2 of Quarterback on Netflix. Clearly, Watson is trying to redraw his image so there are going to be so many scenes of him leading team prayers while he has one eye open making sure the cameras are catching it.
Remember when Deshaun was a Top 5 QB playing for Bill O’Brien who was doing everything in his power to lose football games?
He was really the chosen one, man. But he just had to have a nasty ass fetish for frightened, reluctant handjobs. Freaky ass.

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