Jaylen Brown Is About To Be The Most Hated Man in the NBA

The Boston Celtics season ended at home in an 84-103 Game 7 beatdown to the Miami Heat. Jaylen Brown was 1-for-9 from 3 and committed 8 turnovers—one of the nastiest games you’ve ever seen.

BREAKING: Boston Celtics star Jaylen Brown has agreed to a five-year, $304 million supermax contract extension with the franchise, per sources. This is the richest deal in NBA history, negotiated by agent Jason Glushon.

Fully guaranteed, with a trade kicker. No player option. pic.twitter.com/MQ6NKILY8Q

— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) July 25, 2023

And now he just signed his name on the richest deal in NBA history.

Jaylen Brown is under contract for 5 years and set to make $304 million with a trade kicker which means if Boston ever decides to trade him elsewhere, he’ll get even more money.

Personally, I love that Jaylen Brown stole this money from the Celtics.

It is going to be hilarious seeing him drive with his head down because he can’t dribble without looking at the ball and then jumping directly into a stationary defender either leading to a momentum-shattering offensive foul or he’s going to rocket a pass straight into the chest of a defender—but now he’s the highest paid player ever.

Unfortunately, those jokes are quickly going to turn into “takes”.

Hating the Boston Celtics is easy

. I imagine people are rushing to their podcast mics to shit on Brad Stevens and the entire Celtics organization for giving him a contract that is going to cripple their future roster flexibility.

Stephen A. Smith watches like, 3 Boston Celtics games a year but will get on First Take and scream about the Celtics incompetence as if that $304 million is coming directly out of our bank accounts.

Most fans get their thoughts and opinions from people they watch or follow so the second Jaylen dribbles off his feet and Nick Wright rushes to his TV show (whatever the name of the show is) declaring Jaylen Brown’s contract to be the worst in sports history, people will just start saying it as if it is their own unique idea that wasn’t spoonfed to them.

By signing this contract, Jaylen Brown has set himself up for a level of criticism and random hate he has never experienced before. I hope he has a good team around him but I doubt it. This is the same guy who was working with Kanye West’s Donda Sports agency up until Kanye credited Hitler with the invention of microphones.

Sometimes it feels like 50% of the NBA media consists of Boston Celtics fans.

So it is going to be incredible watching Bill Simmons and all of the dorks who used their platforms and their own individual votes to help get Jaylen Brown on an All-NBA team, turn against Jaylen for underperforming a contract that they are directly responsible for him being eligible for.

Plus, Jaylen Brown has some Kyrie in him where he thinks he’s way smarter than he actually is. Something massive is going to happen in this country in the next 5 years. Someone is going to put a mic in Jaylen’s face and he is going to say something profoundly stupid. It’s inevitable.

We are going to see unprecedented levels of hatred. When there’s a reported robbery, the comment section is going to be full of Jaylen Brown photos making fun of him stealing from Boston.

Don’t let Jaylen have a playoff game scoring less than 10 points. Boston is going to treat him worst than the marathon bomber. You really don’t have to give that fan base additional reasons to hate a brown dude.

Good for Jaylen for getting the bag.

He for sure shouldn’t be the highest-paid player in the NBA.

Despite his reputation as a great defender, he’s pretty average.

He only shoots 33% from 3 yet still chucks up wayyyy too many 3-pointers every game.

He and Jayson Tatum have zero on-court chemistry and they make each other worse.

This is an all time finesse. Salute to Jaylen.

Hope he’s prepared to be dragged all season long. I’m sure Scrooge McDucking into a pool of money might help him feel better about whatever Colin Cowherd is saying.

Random Stray Thoughts:

Jaylen Brown just became the new Tobias Harris, you never want to go full Tobias Harris.
Opposing players always have a story about being hit with racial slurs when they play in Boston but if they hear the n-word next season, there’s a 99% chance the fans are talking to Jaylen Brown.
Expect an NBA lockout coming at some point in the next 5 years. There’s probably an email chain right now with every NBA owner ready to shut this whole league down if they have to pay $304 million for 2-time All-Stars who dribble like the best player on the local girls JV team.
The craziest part of this contract is knowing he is going to make this same money again when he’s playing in China a decade from now.

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