We All Deserve One More Year With Joe Flacco

The NFL preseason exists for two reasons: 1. NFL owners trick fans into buying tickets and packing the stadium to watch 4th stringers and future Wheel of Fortune contestants give each other concussions.

The second reason is to murder starters and break all their bones in the 3 short minutes their own the field. The preseason is a completely pointless endeavor for a sport that is too violent to play casually.

In the New York Jets first preseason game, Zach Wilson was the biggest casualty of the owners’ greed.

RUMORS of #ZachWilson injury suggest it might have been a Torn ACL. pic.twitter.com/KnmWrbcflo

— NFL Connection (@_nfl_connection) August 13, 2022

Yike.

Totally understand Jets fans feeling as though the sky is falling. Zach Wilson needs arthroscopic surgery to repair a bone bruise and meniscus tear. Personally, I think Wilson was about to have an extremely disappointing season as he spent most of his offseason fighting with his ex-girlfriend and pillow talking with his mommy’s milf mates.

But I urge Jets fans to find the silver lining.

Enter Cool Joe Flacco.

I’ve already written about my love of Joe Flacco who represents a type of quarterback that no longer exists in the modern NFL. A guy who will chuck a 60-yard bomb down the sideline for a touchdown and immediately follow that up with one of the most absurd interceptions you will ever see because he trusts his arm way more than he should. All while looking like they cannot wait to rip a cigarette and like all of their ex’s photos on IG just so they get the annoying notifications.

As football fans, we should all be excited about a different type of playing style. We need more guys like Jameis Winston and Matty Stafford before Sean McVay got his hands on him. Those two New York Giants Super Bowls were extra special watching them in real-time when neither you nor Eli Manning had any idea where those footballs were going when they left his hand.

Cannot wait for the first time Joe Flacco sees a little pressure in his face and just chucks the ball downfield with his eyes closed. Those seconds where no one knows where the ball is landing are what makes this sport so exciting. Fuck your little screen passes and 5-yard slants across the middle. Every receiver run sprints down the field. Flacco will find you.

From the Jets perspective, Joe Flacco starting Week 1 is the best-case scenario. He’s a ~~steady~~ vet who can run the offense and illustrate any holes and flaws this team may have so when Zach Wilson returns, the team can truly assess if Wilson is the problem or the team around him.

I just feel bad for Flacco. He has to like, pay attention in the film room and participate in the majority of the practice reps instead of smoking cigarettes inside of a dark New Jersey dive bar.