thelesterlee
The Bachelor franchise has me in a chokehold.
Between The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise and now The Golden Bachelor, I am locked in every Monday night to see (white) people in their mid-20’s struggle to be borderline perfect suitors as they compete against 29 of their peers to win the heart of a random they could easily hook up with on a Friday night in Nashville.
To understand the insanity of this season’s Bachelorette finale, we have to go back to the last season of The Bachelor where we met the current Bachelorette, Jenn Tran.
Last season, Jenn finished in the final 6, being eliminated right before The Bachelor visited the Final 4 contestants’ homes, charming their parents even though they already knew exactly which of the 4 girls he wanted.
God, I love hometowns week. The Bachelor/Bachelorette pretends like they care about these families liking them when in reality, they’re already planning their Dear John breakup letters for the moment the show ends.
Among the Final 4 were Maria Georgas:
And Daisy Kent:
Shout out to Kelsey who ended up winning, however, Maria and Daisy were the obvious main characters of the season.
So it makes a ton of sense for the guys who signed up for the next season of The Bachelorette to believe they’d be dating Maria or Daisy.
Not Jenn Tran.
So these guys signed up when The Bachelor season started, received their acceptance letter as they were watching along—falling for Maria or Daisy every week—and then had to pack and fly out to film The Bachelorette, disappointed it was Jenn instead.
Two frontrunners struggled to fall for Jenn—one going as far as admitting he was there for Daisy or Maria.
On a group date to a local radio station to be interviewed about their feelings toward Jenn, my guy Sam M. told her, directly eye-to-eye, face-to-face, that he was not attracted to her when he got out of the limo the first night and he thought Daisy or Maria would be the Bachelorette.
He then doubled down at the Men Tell All—an episode the week before the season finale where all of the losers get called out for their behavior during the season. Must-see TV.
Sam M once again said all the guys thought Daisy or Maria would be their girlfriends.
Oh by the way, here’s a TikTok posted just this week of Sam M. hanging out with Daisy.
@the_thomaswin The main thing? @Sam McKinney @Sydney Gordon @Lea Cayanan @Daisy Kent #bachelornation ♬ original sound – Thomas N
Yike.
So we get to the finale this week.
When I saw it was 3 hours, my eyes rolled out of my head but they did not disappoint.
The finale aired in front of a live audience with Jenn and the final two guys in-studio, ready to talk it all out.
Marcus and Devin were the last two.
Marcus was the frontrunner all season long but kept saying he wasn’t in love with her yet and needed more time.
While Devin love-bombed her all season, constantly reminding her how much he wanted her, even sabotaging others to squeeze a crumb of more time with Jenn.
Jenn broke up with Marcus because he was still unsure and, ya know, it was the finale. Which meant Devin won.
But before ABC aired the proposal, they called Jenn and Devin onto the stage to explain they were ALREADY broken up, as Devin basically ghosted her when they left Hawaii and returned to their real lives.
Apparently, Devin broke up with her, HIS FIANCE, over the phone in a 15-minute call. He then immediately hung up the phone and followed Maria on Instagram.
And while we’re still talking about Maria and Daisy, there’s a report today that Marcus likes blondes and wanted Daisy to be The Bachelorette, explaining why he was trying soooo hard to fall for Jenn,—a girl he never wanted in the first place.
It gets way worse than just Jenn and Devin breaking up.
Ya see, all season long, this show would tell us this was the most historic season in Bachelorette history. And they were right.
Jenn didn’t just pick Devin. She proposed to HIM. For the first time in Bachelorette history, the girl proposed to the boy.
Which made the finale even more insane.
After they sat on the couch, arguing over how things ended between them, former NFL backup QB and host of the show, Jesse Palmer, forced them both to sit there and watch her propose to him.
No clue what’s going on… but I just flipped the channel & saw Jesse Palmer tell girl whose engagement just ended how amazing her proposal was though… then asks her to watch it as she bawls
“and nobody can ever take that away from you”
WTF. This shows crazy #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/tmt4HduNqo
— Chris Law (@ChrisLaw) September 4, 2024
Just a batshit crazy moment.
Absolutely insane to make this girl re-live the most embarrassing moment of her life sitting next to the man who tricked her, in front of a live audience full of fans who pity her.
Incredible television. 10/10 would recommend. This is everything I love about The Bachelor franchise.
The first-ever Asian Bachelorette paraded out there to pretend as if their show is so diverse now, while every contestant, one-by-one, indicates they’re all there to date the typical white girls that always win.
And it’s impossible to feel bad for anyone involved.
All of these people are decently attractive. All they have to do to meet a partner is like, go outside, but instead, they’d rather go on TV to gain social media followers in order to grow their businesses or just simply become famous.
Jenn Tran is cute.
She can go out to the beach bar this Saturday and leave with any guy she wants.
This is her second full season of The Bachelor, first as a contestant and now as the actual Bachelorette. Download Tinder like the rest of us. You’re not special.
I’ve been dumped more times than I can count. None of them were nationally televised, believe it or not.
Jen signed up for this.
I hope the extra 100,000 Instagram followers will get you some sort of paid HelloFresh brand sponsorship. Go chase that small bag, girl. A check is a check.
The Bachelorette finale was the perfect depiction of what makes this show so amazing.
The next Bachelorette sits live in the audience a week before her season airs, looking on as the 3 people on stage, including the host Jesse Palmer, have all gone through the process and failed to find love from it—and we all watch every season knowing damn well these sociopaths are clout-chasing neanderthals who want to travel around the world on ABC’s dime attempting to be seen on camera as many times as possible so their IG DMs get flooded.
We’re like, a year away from the first annual Hunger Games. Cannot wait.
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Am I the only one who laughed at loud during the Bachelorette Finale? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
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