thelesterlee
Welcome to The Pipe Bomb, where we discuss the latest news and events from the world of wrestling, both inside and outside the ring. This week we have Lashley leaving WWE, MJF bringing back the vibes and Chris Jericho refusing to go away.
Triple H’s longterm booking
Recently, I’ve seen some people online poking holes at Triple H’s booking style and thank god because it feels like this man has been cloaked in anti-criticism armor.
Raw and Smackdown were so atrocious under Vince McMahon’s gross ass thumb that Triple H gets treated like a hero for simply not making Charlotte Flair throw a pie in someone’s face (we’ll talk about Toni Storm later).
But Triple H has this odd belief that every character outside of the Bloodline, has to lose all of their big matches, over and over again, until they are finally allowed to win the big one.
Cody Rhodes should’ve won at Wrestlemania 39.
LA Knight has had the highest merch sales for a year and not only has he yet to hold a championship belt but he often doesn’t even get to wrestle at the PLE’s.
Bron Breakker is being booked as this unstoppable monster and just lost clean to Sami Zayn for the Intercontinental title at Money in the Bank.
Drew McIntyre’s entire story is about his quest to win the world championship in front of live fans after winning the belt during the pandemic in an empty warehouse. We’re halfway through 2024 and McIntyre is still losing every big championship match he has.
And my apologies to Gunther but you are 1000% the next top guy to get a ton of chances and lose every single one of them because long-term booking or some shit.
Not every champion needs a year-long reign. Not every story needs to be a million pages long.
No one was hurt more by Triple H taking over booking than Bobby Lashley who formed a team with the Street Profits where they were essentially tasked with getting Karrion Kross over—they didn’t—and now it looks like Bobby Lashley, alongside former manager MVP, are free agents looking to re-form The Hurt Business elsewhere.
Bobby was nothing but professional.
He was a steady hand whenever needed and could have easily been at the top of the card battling Roman Reigns but instead, Triple H treated him the same way I treat my iPhone screen. I can hardly read anything with this screen. It’s a problem that I can’t fix. WHY did I decide to be a struggling writer instead of a lawyer??
5 Bobby Lashley Dream Matches
Okay, let’s assume contracts are over and all the non-compete garbage is figured out. What should Bobby Lashley do in AEW?
First, he and whatever version of Hurt Business they put together should be the Final Boss on AEW Collision. Technically none of the wrestlers are ‘exclusive’ to Collision or Dynamite but it makes sense to let audiences know that on Saturday night, you will see Bobby Lashley break people.
1. Samoa Joe: I mean, is this one not obvious? Get these two monsters in the ring together and let them throw some meat around.
2. Powerhouse Hobbs: Everything I said about Joe but Hobbs could actually use the rub of a big rivalry with a legend like Lashley. Hobbs and Ricky Starks keep having these huge runs only to disappear into obscurity, in need of creative direction. If Hobbs and Lashley throw down the way I know they can, AEW will have no choice but to find something great for Hobbs to do next.
3. Jay White: Switchblade is my favorite wrestler in AEW who has somehow made me give a shit about Juice Robinson and Billy Gunn’s fail-sons. The Bang Bang Gang vs. The Hurt Business would feed the streets.
4. Konosuke Takeshita: Everyone should get a match with Takeshita and everyone should lose their match with Takeshita.
5. Swerve Strickland: Swerve and Lashley are the faces of WWE’s collective shrug when booking black stars. Let Tony Khan show what type of stories you can write when you’re not desperately trying to stop yourself from making someone say ‘nigga’.
MJF Is HIM
MJF has the ‘it’s still real to me, dammit” video coursing through his veins, and when mixed with the HGH in his system, you get what happened on Dynamite this past Wednesday.
FULL SEGMENT: MJF turns on Daniel Garcia in Chicago.
One of the best angles AEW did all year. MJF just works best as a bad guy and it was proven here again.
pic.twitter.com/HM4uLyNndk— Drainmaker 🌧️ 💵 (@DrainBamager) July 4, 2024
Modern wrestling fans, myself included, are annoying. We are spoiled know-it-alls who take this all for granted. MJF is one of the only performers in the world who finds ways to cut through the noise. He demands your attention. After being sort of accidentally forced into becoming a good guy with Adam Cole and Kangaroo kicking around, he was able to turn the city of Chicago against him. My man was in the crowd ready to fight fans.
Genuis move to start the 250th episode of Dynamite with an hour-long International Title match between MJF and Will Ospreay. AEW is a company built on work rate and there is no better way to celebrate the company’s longevity than putting on one of the best matches of 2024 with the two young faces of the brand.
MJF is going to CMLL!!!
Wow!!!
— Fightful Wrestling (@Fightful) July 20, 2024
Now, MJF is immediately taking that newly earned International Championship to Mexico. This is the perfect use of MJF right now. Swerve, Hangman and Danielson are at the top of the card and deserve to be in AEW world championship stories but in the meantime, keep MJF hot by sending him around the world, talking shit and throwing drinks on children.
And look at that physique. All natty. Not an ounce of juice in his system. Please don’t drug test MJF.
Mercedes Mone time
Earlier in the week, Mercedes said in an interview she has total control over her character which instantly lends itself to Hulk Hogan comparisons as she walked into AEW and booked herself to immediately win two championships, including wins over Willow Nightengale and Stephanie Vaquer—two of the best wrestlers in the world.
She’s also had some stale promos. Until this week, Mercedes came off like an actress pretending to be a professional wrestler but an actress who’s never seen wrestling before taking the role and is doing the cheesiest, lamest, laziest portrayal of what she believes a wrestler is.
And then she came face-to-face with Britt Baker and the blurry image sharpened. This IS the character. She is intentionally being stale and soulless because she believes she’s better than the company.
Blood feuds are boiling in the women’s division. Toni Storm and Mariah May are inevitably going to destroy each other. Kris Statlander and Willow Nightengale are 1000% going to be covered in each other’s blood, sooner than later.
But no one needs a death match more than Mercedes Mone, who has yet to have a career-defining match solidifying her as one of the best wrestlers of her era.
She has a ton of accolades and that’s cool or whatever but we need to see Britt Baker slam her through barbed-wired tables before she inevitably slingshots herself to the top of the card for the women’s title.
The Learning Tree
Like everyone else, I was skeptical of this whole Learning Tree story Chris Jericho was telling. It actually does suck to see a 53-year old man on TV every week while Ricky Starks and Keith Lee watch from home.
Until I realized this is what heel work looks like in 2024. With every wrestling fan believing they’re the smartest person in the room, cheering for heels instead of booing them, the only real way to get fans to hate you is to simply not go away.
Chris Jericho may not be able to move like Y2J but he’s never lost his ability to stand in the middle of the ring with a mic in his hands and the get the crowd to do whatever he wants.
Creating a ‘TV time’ segment to mock the idea that fans are mad at him for stealing TV time from people is genius. Even the weird nasally voice he’s using in his promos to irritate fans is a brilliant choice. And then murdering Hook and Samoa Joe in back-to-back weeks to demonstrate a secret monster inside of the Mister Rodgers character is the cherry on top.
Right now, the Learning Tree is only battling Japanese vets but I’m excited to see who they’re killing time for because I’m all in on the Learning Tree and I’m ready for Jericho and the boys to get into a big-time feud with someone because Jericho gets arrested for his connection to January 6th.
Random Stray Thoughts
- I want to quickly give a round of applause to Toni Storm. Outside of Swerve, Toni Storm has consistently delivered every single time she’s been on my TV screen. Timeless Toni Storm was an incredible character who we all knew would inevitably be turning the belt over to Mariah May but to sacrifice herself in a pool of her own blood to help get Mariah over even more was worthy of praise. I don’t know what’s next for her but hopefully, she gets a little vacation after Wembley and HOPEFULLY, Jamie Hayter can come back and keep her seat warm.
- It’s really cool that Bianca Belair and Jade Cargill are friends. The wrestling business has come a long way because you know if this happened in the 90s, they would be pitted against each other and fighting for the one spot on TV for a black woman.
- Shout out to Luchasaurus, yo. That motherfucker STAYS dripped in gold, somehow. He’s going to end his career with the most AEW titles ever while Bryan Danielson fakes an injury to get out of winning one.
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Who do you want to see Lashley get in the ring with next? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
