The 2023 Yankees Are Drunk

The 2023 New York Yankees are a movie. Or a documentary on how not to run a professional baseball organization. I am loving every second of this nonsense and now, just 35 days after throwing a perfect game, Domingo German will miss the remainder of the 2023 MLB season to check himself into an impatient treatment for alcohol abuse.

I’m sure Yankees fans remember CC Sabathia checking himself into rehab in 2015 the same week the playoffs were starting. Most of us understood his decision. Get your personal life in order because your life and health are more important than a game.

This time around, however, the Yankees are nowhere near the playoffs and Domingo German doesn’t have anywhere near the built-in equity CC had when he decided to put down the bottle.

Actually, fuck Domingo German.

This is the same guy who beat his wife in front of all of his teammates at CC Sabathia’s charity event.

Wow, Domingo and CC have far too many connections. If I’m Sabathia, I’m finding a PR team that can scrub my name from all German stories.

Domingo being a drunk, wife-beater is his own personal bullshit he needs to deal with. It’s the Yankees front office who fumbled this whole situation.

On July 31st, Domingo German was scratched from his scheduled start. The Yankees told us he was suffering from armpit pain. Turns out, German was blackout drunk annoying everyone in the clubhouse and the Yankees tried to cover it up with, again, an ARMPIT injury.

You could make the argument that Domingo’s alcoholism is none of our business and the Yankees didn’t need to tell us all the details. Sure. But all of this happened a day before the trade deadline which means the Yankees knew they needed a starting pitcher and elected to do absolutely nothing.

Here’s what Andy Martino of SNY said happened on Domingo’s last day at work:

“On Tuesday evening of this week, German grew belligerent while in the clubhouse at Yankee Stadium, though there is no word of an altercation with a teammate or other individuals. Witnesses determined that German was under the influence of alcohol and did not appear in control of his emotions.”

Here’s a rule to everyone: if drink and become a massive asshole then you should stop drinking.

But that’s all fine. Domingo German is no longer drunk terrorizing the clubhouse. Time to get this shitty season back on track.

Anthony Rizzo is going on the IL with a “likely concussion” that they’re traced back to the Tatis Jr. incident in late May

(via @ChrisKirschner) pic.twitter.com/N9RpgYpqUF

— Talkin’ Yanks (@TalkinYanks) August 3, 2023

Oh no…

Surely the Yankees medical staff didn’t watch Anthony Rizzo’s brain smash against his skull in May and allow him to play for the next two months. There’s no way this organization is that drunk.

The Yankees said that Rizzo mentioned the “fogginess” at the end of the Orioles series, when he went 0-for-5 with 5 K’s. He still played in the next two games vs. Tampa Bay.

— Bryan Hoch ⚾️ (@BryanHoch) August 3, 2023

Okay so the front office let Domingo German beat his wife and stay on the team.

Then he let that same guy show up to work black-out drunk and protected him with fake injuries.

And when they knew German was about done, the front office shrugged and didn’t make a trade to replace his spot in the starting rotation.

Then the training staff let Anthony Rizzo play day in and day out despite his brain leaking out of his ears.

Rizzo hit his head, started striking out nonstop and no one thought “Hey, maybe let’s give him a few days off and retest him for a concussion since it looked like he was in a fucking car crash when Fernando Tatis ran into him”.

And then Rizzo goes to the very same training staff and openly admits his cranium hurts and the team made him play two more games before shutting him down with a concussion.

Oh and ONCE AGAIN, the front office could’ve acquired a first baseman if they simply sat Rizzo down and asked him how he was feeling.

The entire 2023 New York Yankees organization is drunk.

This team is being run like one of those bars where busty middle-aged women overpour drinks full of fruit flies to their regulars before Jon Taffer kicks in the front door and chokeslams the bar owner for being drunk and flirting with a woman who is not his wife.

Unfortunately, Jon Taffer isn’t coming to save the Yankees. No one is.

Hal Steinbrenner was handed a team by his father and he seems to have zero interest in actually running it. Instead, he has elected to allow Randy Levine and Brian Cashman to half-ass their jobs because they know they have the ultimate job security.

28th ring on the way.

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