Perhaps Jameis Winston Should Be Kept Far Away From Bourbon Street

Over the weekend, the New Orleans Saints snuck a contract under Jameis Winston’s door. Reports say it would be a 1-year offer and the deal is not finalized so the financial details aren’t out yet but I can’t help but think that neither side has thought this one through enough.

As the #Saints and FA QB Jameis Winston close in on a 1-year deal, worth noting Winston turned down a more lucrative offer elsewhere to learn from some of the best. The former #Bucs starter put the emphasis on his future in a smart choice.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) April 26, 2020

On paper, this makes all the sense in the world.

From New Orleans’s perspective, they have an 80-year-old quarterback who missed 4 games last season from arthritis or something. It behooves the Saints to have a solid backup to step in just in case dementia creeps up on Brees. Jameis could fill in the backup role that Teddy Bridgewater left behind for ~~greater~~ lesser pastures in Carolina.

Jameis Winston happened to become a free agent during an offseason where there were simply more quarterbacks available than there were roster holes to fill which has never happened before.

Any other free agency period and someone like Cam Newton would’ve been signed the second Carolina cut him.

Jameis Winston gets a 1-year bag to sit behind the great (and geriatric) Drew Brees and make NFL GMs forget he threw 30 of the most disgusting interceptions in 2019. Give Chicago one year to realize that both Mitch Trubisky and Nick Foles are trash or for Gardner Minshew to turn back into a pumpkin and BAM, Jameis is back to turning the ball over at an alarming rate by the trade deadline.

But he might not make it to 2021 following a year of living in New Orleans.

After getting drunk, getting into the front seat of an Uber and groping the driver, Jameis declared that he had a drinking problem and would put down the booze in order to keep the women of Florida safe from his beer goggles.

As I write this, Jameis Winston is probably drunk as hell in his hotel room refreshing his Twitter timeline waiting for the governor of Louisiana to open Bourbon Street so he can have a super late Mardi Gras celebration with him, his new bridge and whatever Uber driver is unfortunate enough to accept his ride request

The funniest part of all this is that the Saints also re-signed sometimes-quarterback, Taysom Hill, to a 2-year $21 million deal with $16 million guaranteed.

Including the postseason, Taysom Hill has completed a grand total of 8 fucking passes. He’s making $8 million per career completion. The Saints miiiiight be cooking the books but that’s a conversation for another day.

The Saints invested more money in their third-string quarterback who is three years older than Jamies Winston and significantly worse of a quarterback. It’s a wrap for New Orleans once Drew Brees finally retires and Jameis will be too busy two-stepping, parading down a cobblestone road with the loudest band anyone’s ever heard on a Fat Tuesday.

Can’t wait.

Random Stray Jameis Winston Thoughts:

I genuinely believe Taysom Hill is someone’s long-lost son and his dreams of being an NFL player are being financed by someone making up for lost time.
Once Jameis Winston gets Lasik surgery and can finally see where he’s throwing the football, it’s over for you hoes.

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