3 months into 2025, the president is threatening World War 3—cosplaying as a ‘strong fearless leader’ while his words whistle through his rotting dentures. I needed my favorite PLE of the year: WWE Elimination Chamber 2025. Elimination Chamber is WWE’s last chance to surprise its fans before Wrestlemania. So let’s see what WWE has besides […]
This is an excerpt from the Let’s Get This Dread Newsletter. Subscribe for the full Lessons Learned From The NBA This Week article. Rooting for the Boston Celtics or Los Angeles Lakers will always feel like dweeb endeavors. Vanilla ice cream, Dasani water, white generic New Balance behavior. “Hey, I’m not starting this car until […]
I am an old man so I do not sit and watch strangers play video games in their bedrooms for hours. I have shit to do. Twitch isn’t my thing—however, I feel like they have two pretty serious rules over there: You can’t show nip and you can’t say the n-word. Extra Emily, a streamer […]
After decades of tyranny against male expression and individuality to manufacture some antiquated depiction of “class” and “professionalism”, the New York Yankees have finally ended their fascist policy against beards, allowing their players to now grow facial hair. High-ranking Yankees officials, including owner Hal Steinbrenner, spoke with a number of players and former players […]
Growing up, Hooters was where your dad took you to make sure you weren’t gay. And now, future generations of fathers will lose their favorite conversion camp thanks to wokeness ending Hooters and leading to their bankruptcy. Here’s the bad news according to Bloomberg: Hooters of America is working with creditors on a plan to […]
I hate seeing leaked text messages hit the timeline. Always feels like a massive invasion of privacy and makes intimate, personal conversations sound insane when broadcast to the public. I read every single text screenshot I see but I’m not proud of it. Over the weekend, I saw a screenshot I absolutely should not have. […]
Growing up, I would have to downstairs to my family’s corded, landline phone to call my buddies—excited as hell to talk about the latest episode of Digimon. Y’all wasn’t outside when Patamon finally digivolved into Angemon. By the time I got a cell phone in high school, you still couldn’t really text all day every […]
Logan Paul’s biggest claim to fame was posting a YouTube video where he went to a forest in Japan notorious for suicide and sort of made those lame YouTube thumbnail “O” faces as he stepped over suicide victims. He’s not allowed back in Japan. Duh. You can’t mock suicide victims for YouTube views. Everyone knows […]
I’d be lying to you if I told you I was a big Alan Ritchson fan. Absolutely loved him in Blue Mountain State but I haven’t been keeping up with whatever soldier show he’s doing over at Amazon. Blue Mountain State was a comedy from back in the day about a college football program, sort […]
This will be my third year writing this article predicting each team’s starting quarterbacks for the next season. I’ve been wrong every time. Tom Brady did not come out of retirement to play for the Las Vegas Raiders. My b. So we’re going to switch it up a little bit this year. Instead of predicting […]
Lavar Ball—father of Lonzo, LaMelo and the other one—had a few weird months in the spotlight back around 2017 when his oldest, Lonzo, was drafted to the Los Angeles Lakers with the no. 2 pick. He had his 15 minutes of fame and enjoyed them. I have nothing negative to say about Lavar, really. According […]
Saturday Night Live has been a liberal psyop for decades. They used Phil Hartman’s undeniable charm to make us fall in love with Bill Clinton—all while the Clintons were secretly beginning construction of their Death Star, AKA a local pizza restaurant with a basement dungeon full of children prepped and ready to be sex trafficked. […]
Every time I open up TikTok—which is like, once every, maybe, 70 or so days—I don’t understand the appeal of TikTok, I’m an old man and technology has passed me by—but I often scroll past someone sitting in their car or (unkempt) bedrooms questioning their reality or self-identity. As humanity has evolved from hunters and […]
Recently, Alex Bregman signed with the Boston Red Sox. Both the Red Sox and the Chicago Cubs offered Bregman the same contract but refused to defer the money—like every other top ball club does now—while telling their fans that they are struggling to break even. Cubs Jed Hoyer said he had manny, many emails and […]
In 2013, Miami Dolphins 2012 2nd-round offensive lineman, Jonathan Martin, played in just 7 games before leaving the team due to mental health issues he claimed were caused by bullying from Richie Incognito and the rest of the O-Linemen on the team, including racial slurs and all. Richie Incognito received an indefinite suspension after the […]
Recently, the Boston Red Sox signed 2-time All-Star third baseman, Alex Bregman to a 3-year, $120 million deal with opt-out options after every season. Boston may have to exercise those options early as they already have a third baseman who they gave an 11-year, $330 million contract to in 2023 and who has no plans […]
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