Mike Vrabel is Too Gigantic To Coach in the NFL

This season, the Tennesee Titans won only 6 games following a 2022 season where the team won 7 games. Naturally, the Titans decided to move on and fired head coach, Mike Vrabel, when the year ended. With the emergence of CJ Stroud and the Houston Texans, the Titans can’t afford to be on the decline while their division rival suddenly looks like a perennial playoff team.

However, the musical chairs of coach hires are over with every head coaching vacancy filled and Mike Vrabel strangely remains unemployed.

Following the 2017 NFL season, the Tennesee Titans decided to fire head coach, Mike Mularky, because he was running an archaic, run-heavy offensive system. While progressive teams were utilizing more spread offenses with more pre-snap movements and dynamic play-calling, the Titans often had 2 tight ends and played concussion ball.

The Titan won 9 games and even won a playoff game over the Kansas City Chiefs but the team looked like garbage most of the year including a 14-57 beatdown by the well-massaged, Deshaun Watson-led Houston Texans and a 17-40 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Marcus Mariota’s career could’ve gone entirely different if he wasn’t drafted by a Titans organization playing 1950s-style football.

Mike Vrabel was hired in 2018 and his aggressiveness was an astronomical difference from the Mularky era.

Vrabel won 9, 9, 11, and then 12 games in his first 4 years in Tennesee. He’s proven he can change a team’s culture and squeeze wins out of a quarterback like Ryan Tannehill—who at best, has been like, the 16th-best QB in the NFL.

So why did no one hire Mike Vrabel?

The Athletic’s Diani Russini heard from an anonymous GM about Vrabel not being hired being of his physical presence.

Why was Mike Vrabel passed on this coaching cycle?

An anonymous GM tells @DMRussini that Vrabel’s physical stature may have been a factor.

“He’s a very large human being. And can be very intimidating to people in an organization.”

More: https://t.co/EUS84yimLV pic.twitter.com/5YQOygHlEu

— The Athletic (@TheAthletic) February 6, 2024

“Did you know I had a GM at the Senior Bowl who mentioned to me Vrabel’s physical build. That he’s a very large human being and can be very intimidating to people in an organization that are going to be part of these decisions. That is a factor.”

Apparently, NFL teams don’t want to hire the 2021 Coach of the Year because he’s too large.

Ok.

Mike Vrabel was an NFL linebacker for 14 years and a key part of the original New England Patriots championships. He’s 6-foot-4 and played around 260 pounds. He’s certainly big as hell. There’s no denying that. Again, he’s literally a linebacker.

But front offices refusing to hire him because they sat across from him in an interview, asked to compare hand sizes and Vrabel made their little paws look like newborn babies is not a greaaaaat way to run a professional football organization.

Especially considering he’s the size of the players and it’s far more important for the players to respect him and feel comfortable around him than the little white nerds in the front office who spend all day reading and writing emails.

How does this affect other NFL coaches?

There has been a bajillion theories attempting to understand why there aren’t more black coaches in the NFL and this Mike Vrabel story perfectly explains the problem here.

These frail little white dorks in the front office are intimidated by former players and anyone bigger than them. To them, guys like Vrabel are neanderthals who don’t understand the nuances of the sport and simply operate on aggression and overpowering opponents. It’s why Diana Russini said GMs didn’t believe Vrabel’s style would work for their teams.

See, Mike Vrabel’s size gives him the perception of being more of a ‘blue collar’ coach as opposed to a ‘genius’ or ‘mastermind’ like Kyle Shanahan or Matt LeFleur.

The Las Vegas Raiders are the perfect example of this.

As the roster is currently constructed, the Raiders front office decided it made sense to bring back former NFL linebacker, Antonio Pierce, as their head coach because they determined their team needs a big, pugnacious coach to will them to wins and overcome their lack of talent.

But I promise you, the second they replace Aidan O’Connell with an actual star quarterback, the Raiders will immediately fire Antonio Pierce for one of these self-proclaimed ‘quarterback whisperers’ aka some thin, pale geek who’s related to Sean McVay’s barber.

Unless Mike Vrabel catches some rare illness causing him to lose 100 pounds, he may only be hired to turn a broken NFL team into a winner but won’t be given the space to take that winner to the Super Bowl because NFL GMs have to ice their wrists after they shake his hand.

What’s next for Mike Vrabel?

As much as I’m been shitting on NFL GMs for being weirdos, it actually behooves Vrabel to sit out a year. His name will pop up alllll season long.

The NFL media machine is going to suggest he take the job from whichever coach doesn’t immediately start the season undefeated. The Giants start next year 1-4 and ESPN’s Get Up crew will shout ‘IS IT TIME FOR THE GIANTS TO FIRE BRIAN DABOLL AND CALL UP MIKE VRABEL?!?”

Plus, if you look around the league, there might be some really sweet jobs opening up by this time next year. Mike McCarthy of the Cowboys and Nick Sirianni of the Eagles BARELY kept their jobs after both of them lost embarrassing playoff games. Both of those situations are far better than what he’s leaving behind in Tennesee.

How many years does Sean McDermott get to keep failing in the playoffs before the Buffalo Bills move on from him? One more year(s)?

Mike Vrabel being fired and then treated like an orge this offseason may end up being the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Or one of Kyle Shannahan’s interns will skip the line because NFL GMs aren’t having anxiety attacks when they’re alone in a room with them.