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Michael Porter Jr is the Funniest Player in the 2023 NBA Finals

michael porter jr

Michael Porter Jr had the best season of his career this year. He averaged a career-high 17.4 points, played a career-high 62 games and averaged 41% from 3. The Denver Nuggets could not have made the NBA Finals if it weren’t for Porter Jr’s incredible shot-making.

Unfortunately, all that shot-making didn’t make it to the Finals as he’s barely made an impact on the floor. In 3 Finals games, Porter Jr is shooting 25% from the field and 23% from 3. He’s made only three 3-pointers in the Finals. He’s made one more 3 than Haywood Highsmith—a man who could walk up to me wearing a Highsmith jersey saying “hey, my name is Haywood Highsmith”, I’d be like “ha..ha yea, uh, I’m gonna run to the bathroom” so I can wash my hands or sneak out of a back door.

MPJ’s struggles hit a peak in Game 3 where he scored only 2 points and was benched for rookie Christian Braun who played like he already has a few championship rings on his mantle.

After his Game 3 performance, Christian Braun has a better chance of getting his jersey retired by the Denver Nuggets before Carmelo Anthony does.

But while everyone was excited to see a white guy emerging out of nowhere like Austin Reeves or Matthew Dellavedova, I could not stop watching Michael Porter Jr who has become one of the funniest players in the NBA.

MPJ understands why he’s in the NBA—he’s there to score buckets. While Jamal Murray and Nikola Jokc run their unstoppable two-man game, Porter Jr stands at the perimeter knees bent, hands ready to catch a pass that he will immediately chuck up at the basket. Aaron Gordon and Bruce Brown are cutting everywhere to get easy layups from Jokic’s passing but Porter Jr will just stand in place foaming at the mouth at the idea of getting a catch and shoot 3.

When an offensive possession ends without him shooting—doesn’t matter if the Nuggets score or not—Porter Jr rolls his eyes or sighs like he’s a kid on Christmas morning rushing downstairs to open up the biggest box under the tree only to find out it’s like, a pots and pans set for the household from his aunt and uncle.

If MPJ doesn’t get to hurl a quick release 3 then he turns into one of those dudes who DMs random girls he thinks are cute only to turn around and call them ugly bitches when they aren’t interested in them. You know the type of guy. Probably owns a ‘Saturdays Are For The Boys’ Barstool t-shirt.

This is only where the comedy begins. Porter Jr has a reputation for being a poor defender. At his size and his history of back injuries, he doesn’t really have the lateral quickness to stay in front of the better ball handlers in the NBA.

But when he doesn’t get to shoot on the offensive end, he suddenly turns into a frisky, harassing defender anxious to come up with a steal solely because it means he gets the ball and he can lead a fastbreak where everyone knows he’s going to just pull up from 3.

Michael Porter Jr only scored 2 points but you could see him out of nowhere busting his ass to grab rebounds. Not to extend or gain possession for the Nuggets but because it’s an opportunity for him to touch the ball.

Oftentimes, role players who are struggling offensively tend to fall asleep on defense or lose their overall in-game intensity. Porter Jr is the opposite. Not getting the ball inspires him to hustle and when he’s getting his buckets, he has no desire to hustle at all.

Michael Porter Jr running up and down the court desperately trying to get a jump shot off is the funniest thing to watch in these Finals. He’s like a golden retriever chasing after a ball you pretended to throw.

I’m hoping MPJ figures out his jump shot in Game 4 so he can spend more time on the floor making me laugh every time he looks down at his shoes in disappointment after Jokic throws up a spectacular alley-oop to Aaron Gordon.

 

 

 

Who do you guys think is the funniest role player to watch in the NBA? Reach out and share your favorite player observations. Leave a comment below. Respond on TwitterFacebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. 

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