St. Louis Cardinals rookie OF Joshua Baez showed up to the first day of the new job and set unattainable productivity standards.
Baez inked the record books, hitting 3 homers in his MLB debut—helping the St. Louis Cardinals get their lick back—8-4 win over the Chicago Cubs to tie their final 2026 series 1-1 going into Sunday. Mouthful, I know, but the game mattered. Holding steady, 3 games back of the final Wild Card spot, tied with the Marlins, cautiously steering on E til the final 162.
Joshua Báez
Joshua Báez!
JOSHUA BÁEZ!!!The @Cardinals rookie has homered THREE TIMES in his MLB debut 🤯 pic.twitter.com/4FTBDw4dZx
— MLB (@MLB) August 15, 2026
Either he’s a sicko, locked the fuck in, ready to smash 70 dingers a season—hopefully.
Or the reality of American working conditions will collapse upon his shoulders, once the machine knows it can extract more—anything less than the most becomes unacceptable.
Always coast through your first, say, 2-3 years at any job. Only applying real effort when you want to leave on time to catch a showtime or it’s Christmas Break or whatever. Otherwise, never sweat unless they’re paying properly. If they’re paying properly and you’re not trying, you’re Anthony Rendon.
The 23-year-old, a Cardinals second-round pick, spent 2021-2024 striking out nd hitting some bombs. 34.4% strikeout rate with 24 homers in 896 minor league at-bats. This season, 34 homers in 461 minor league plate appearances, tweaking his K rate, kinda, down to 29.5%.
A top 100 prospect by most, a slugger sporting PF Flyers, 54 stolen bases a season ago.
Joshua Baez’s game’s been proven. The Cardinals organization already holding high expectations.
And now, following a 3-homer debut, the team, the media, the fans, stitching his name to the Cardinals core alongside Jordan Walker, Masyn Winn, JJ Wetterholt, Alec Burleson and Ivan Herrera,
I just hope he’s still a Major Leaguer in 2030.
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