Jim Irsay is the Greatest Owner in NFL History

Something incredible happened over the weekend at the Indianapolis Colts facility. Owner, Jim Irsay, had a Saturday I’m sure he will regret and that’s exactly what makes him the best owner in the league.

Star Colts running back, Jonathan Taylor, has been in a quiet dispute with the team over a new contract. So naturally, Jim Irsay pulled up to practice in his own bus and immediately invited Taylor inside to settle their beef like men.

Colts owner Jim Irsay just pulled up to practice and invited a guest onto his luxury bus: RB Jonathan Taylor. 👀 pic.twitter.com/trr9yQN95R

— Stephen Holder (@HolderStephen) July 29, 2023

There are 31 other owners in the NFL. 75% of them would call a player into their office for a conversation. 25% of the owners wouldn’t even face the player who’s asking for a pay raise.

Jim Irsay is built different. He shows up on a bus and tells his star RB to meet him in the backseat for a heart-to-heart.

Things didn’t quite go the way Irsay expected because moments after Jonathan Taylor walked off the bus and went straight to his cell phone to tell his agent he needs to get the fuck out of Indianapolis.

Sources: #Colts star RB Jonathan Taylor has formally requested a trade after meeting with owner Jim Irsay. pic.twitter.com/BH7dhZAzUD

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) July 30, 2023

But to understand why this bus meeting ended so poorly, let’s take a step back and add some context.

In 2021, Jonathan Taylor was without a doubt the best running back in the league.

He rushed for 1,811 yards and scored 20 total touchdowns. He led the NFL in both categories.

He was awarded first-team All-Pro and finished 2nd in Offensive Player of the Year voting narrowly losing to Rams receiver, Cooper Kupp, who happened to have one of the greatest receiving seasons ever.

The next year, Taylor suffered an ankle injury limiting him to only 11 games and not coming close to his previous production.

When he was healthy, the Colts finished above .500 and only missed the playoffs because Carson Wentz plays quarterback like he’s a fan picked out of the stands at random and is terrified by the 300-pound defensive linemen running like cheetahs at him.

And when Taylor was injured last season, the Colts only won 4 games.

The organization can’t pretend like JT isn’t a massive difference-maker. He deserves to be paid. He risked his body for this team.

On the other side of this negotiation is the failson, crackhead who seems to live in his own universe.

Ah yes, 2 much “caffeine”.

In 2014, Irsay was arrested for driving high as hell with $30,000 in cash and an empty prescription bottle. He revealed he struggles with drugs like coke and mushrooms. Not sure why he told us this but that’s the type of guy he is.

He isn’t your typical egregiously rich man.

No, he’s alarming honest.

I imagine after years of hiding your crack pipe from everyone in his personal life, it’s a sigh of relief being able to finally be open about how good those Oxys make you smell colors.

Jim Irsay has a unique perspective the other owners don’t have. He’s hit rock bottom. His side chick overdosed from drugs Irsay purchased with money he made from owning the Colts. He almost lost everything.

So when Jonathan Taylor steps onto that bus to talk about their future together, Taylor had to have known he wasn’t dealing with a normal boss.

Here’s what Irsay said following Taylor leaving the bus requesting a trade:

#Colts owner Jim Irsay: “If I die tonight and Jonathan Taylor is out of the league, no one’s gonna miss us. The league goes on. We know that. The National Football (League) rolls on. It doesn’t matter who comes and who goes, and it’s a privilege to be a part of it.”

— James Boyd (@RomeovilleKid) July 30, 2023

[rips mile-long line of the most stepped-on cocaine ever shoved into a dirty baggy]: No one will remember any of us when we’re dead.

As someone who’s had too many drinks and started contemplating my own mortality, I feeeeel him with this.

Sure, I can see Colts fans feeling a type of way about the owner of their favorite football club having a public existential crisis instead of simply paying the best player on the team but this is what Irsay the best in the business.

Every single player in the NFL is being exploited. They are all underpaid. These guys are cutting their life expectancies and turning their brains into hummus to help fund their team owners’ summer houses and helicopter fuel.

Most of the owners never speak. Saquon Barkley was begging for quarters under the Verrazano Bridge and Giants team owner, John Mara, didn’t speak up once.

And the only time we hear about some of these owners is when they’re being perverts like Dan Snyder and Jerry Richardson.

Jim Irsay is just high as hell, playing his little guitar and making the NFL more interesting.

We can laugh at his coked-out decisions like acquiring Carson Wentz after a season where he was benched for Jalen Hurts and still led the league interceptions only playing half the year—or decisions like rolling over in bed hungover, turning on the TV to ESPN, seeing Jeff Saturday’s mundane coverage on Get Up and hiring him as your team’s head coach with no NFL coaching experience.

We need Irsay’s chaotic energy to laugh at while we gamble our hard-earned money watching men disable each other. What other owner is bringing a bang bus to practice and then reflecting on death when his star player doesn’t like the sweet bus interior and the new Travis Scott album blasting in the speakers?

Thank you for your service, Jim. Take it easy on those percs, though.

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