thelesterlee
Ime Udoka was the Prince That Was Promised. In his first season ever as a head coach, he led the Boston Celtics to 51 wins and a trip to the NBA Finals against the Golden State Warriors. Everyone on the Celtics reached their full potential and Udoka was looking like the best head coach in the NBA.
Oh, and then he was immediately suspended for a year before being permanently replaced by Joe Mazzula and never coaching another game for the Celtics again and none of us really understand what happened.
All we know is that Udoka had an affair with a female Celtics staffer. Here’s what Woj said in his account of the suspension:
“Ime Udoka used crude language in his dialogue with a female subordinate before the start of an improper workplace relationship with her, an element that significantly factored into the severity of Udoka’s initial suspension.”
That’s still super vague.
If I had to guess, I’d say he sexually harassed this woman and used his authority as their superior to leverage a night alone with them. That’s just an example of bad character and judgment but Matt Barnes has said there’s something far worse that the Celtics and the NBA are keeping from us.
Here’s what Barnes said about the situation:
“I think it’s pretty heavy, man. There’s just some stuff you can’t do. There’s some stuff you can do, so it’s just like, not judging, to each his own. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but if everything comes out, it could get extra hot in the kitchen for him”.
There were rumors that he slept with an exec’s wife or that the relationship he had with the woman wasn’t consensual but no matter what happened, the conversation surrounding Ime Udoka’s name was pretty clear: he would never coach in the NBA again.
Regardless of the details, we all know that whatever he did was so inappropriate that it got him fired from a job weeks after bringing a team to the NBA Finals. We’ve seen far less successful people be given more opportunities and chances after a fuck up than Udoka so it’s tough not to assume that whatever he did, there’s at least one woman who is a victim.
And now, Ime Udoka gets to be the new head coach of the Houston Rockets.
Join us in welcoming our new head coach Ime Udoka to the team!⁰⁰Read more: https://t.co/BYJ3dTZ81f pic.twitter.com/w381SvjajK
— Houston Rockets (@HoustonRockets) April 26, 2023
Very cool. But this is the same NBA that hired Chauncey Billups as the head coach of the Portland Trailblazers even though he sexually assaulted a woman in the 90’s and settled out of court. We see extremely qualified assistant coaches every year get passed over for these head coaching gigs but what we’re learning is that they would instantly be hired if they start terrorizing women.
I have no problem with second chances or anything like that but everyone has been so discreet about what happened that there’s no way for me to know if he’s changed or if he’s still way too horny to coach.
Thankfully, Udoka let us know in his introductory press conference with the Houston Rockets that he received help.
Ime Udoka said he took leadership and sensitivity training and went to counseling with his son to help him deal with the situation he put his son into. Said he realized how much his bad decision impacted others.
— Jay King (@ByJayKing) April 26, 2023
Oh, that eases my concerns. I don’t have to feel yucky about seeing Udoka on the Rockets sidelines now that I know he and his son took some online Zoom classes (that the NBA probably required him to take in order to coach again).
This is like when Deshaun Watson couldn’t come back to the field until he finished his horny therapy. Let’s just go ahead and assume it was a consensual relationship with a subordinate so we can talk about the on-court ramifications of this hire without feeling like an accomplice in Udoka’s sex crimes.
Can Ime Udoka fix the Houston Rockets?
The last (and only time) Udoka coached the Celtics, the team finished with the 2nd best defensive rating and a top-10 offense. Their defense allowed the fewest points in the league and Marcus Smart leveled up to become Defensive Player of the Year.
For years, the Tatum-Brown-Smart dynamic was odd. Jayson Tatum is obviously the best talent out of the 3 but Smart would constantly waste possessions by chucking up terrible 3’s with plenty of time on the shot clock and as Jaylen Brown improved offensively every season, he still had to take an awkward backseat to those two.
Udoka figured out how to get everyone to understand their roles on the team and they suddenly made it to the Finals by sweeping Kevin Durant and Kyrie in the first round, beating Giannis in 7 games and finally beating the Miami Heat in a 7 game no-DQ street fight.
This Rockets team is in desperate need of an adult who will sort out all of their bullshit. It sucks that Stephen Silas was awarded his first head coaching job and James Harden immediately forced his way out of Houston causing Silas to be surrounded by children and lose his job but Udoka might be the guy to fix the selfishness and egos on this Rockets roster.
Ime was notorious for straight-up shouting at guys on the Celtics. He would call time out exclusively to scream at players for making mistakes. He had a big disapproving African father energy that the Celtics really responded to especially following Brad Stevens and his big substitute teacher energy.
Or perhaps Ime Udoka’s sensitivity training will make him more understanding of Jalen Green’s need to shoot 9-for-27 with 1 assist every night and no one will be barked at.
Either way, let’s hope Ime just goes to work and goes home without sniffing any woman’s seat when they leave to go to the bathroom.
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