How To Make The Perfect NBA Podcast

Growing up, retired NBA players joining the media was the most boring, fast-forward-able part of every ESPN broadcast. Outside of the TNT crew, it’s gotten astronomically worse today. Kendrick Perkins TV segments are punishments. Jay Williams will defend everything Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving does because they’re in a group chat together.

Does anyone else remember that one summer when ESPN brought in LeBron’s former teammate, Damon Jones, and Jones spent the entire show fellating LeBron?

Damon Jones responds to people criticizing LeBron. #NBA pic.twitter.com/KuPxZdUW7T

— At The Buzzer (@AtTheBuzz_) March 18, 2019

Insane dickriding.

But much like in the music industry, when popular music becomes stale, underground music thrives. The pendulum is swinging for basketball media. TV broadcasts are full of dudes throwing grenades hoping they trend online so their bosses kiss them on the mouth.

A new wave of podcasts have formed to save us from the monotony of lazy or intentionally provocative television.

But what makes these player-centric NBA podcasts hit different?

Let’s try to dissect the formula and build the perfect NBA podcast. Let’s go step-by-step and find what we need:

Step 1: a self-aware NBA player

Jeff Teague has recently emerged as one of the funniest hosts in the game and it’s primarily from his willingness to self-deprecate and make himself the butt of the jokes.

For years, I clowned Teague for not being good enough to be taking as many shots as he loved taking only to find out that Jeff Teague himself would look me dead in my eyes and tell me “yeaaa, I took too many shots”.

Lmaooo niggas was sick of Jeff Teague pic.twitter.com/5pT9pFt7Xf

— Kilo (@KiloBeatsOG) July 25, 2023

Gilbert Arenas might have the best NBA podcast based solely on how honest he is about himself and his career.

Growing up, he was one of the best guards I’d ever seen but was never really treated with the same reverence as his peers like Steve Nash and Chris Paul or even lesser guards like Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury got more respect mainly because Arenas was an asshole.

And Gilbert will be the first person to tell you how annoying he is to be around. Just ask Nick Young.

He’ll also tell you he cared more about getting buckets and getting a big contract than winning championships which is refreshing after listening to guys like Stephen A. Smith—who have never played in the NBA—scream at players for not dying for rings.

It’s almost as if every player has different motivations and we shouldn’t treat them all like the only thing stopping them from becoming Michael Jordan is their work ethic or whatever. Some guys want money, hoes and clothes. And that’s fine.

I love Theo Pinson’s podcast. He’ll sit there smiling ear-to-ear listening to a random role player talk about getting a bag like he’s their proud father because he understands how difficult it is to get that second contract.

Theo Pinson to Devonte’ Graham 🤣:

“You got 4 (years) for 46M and you’re 5’10.” You don’t shoot nothing but 3s.”

(Run Your Race Pod / @TidalLeague ) pic.twitter.com/lw8HOKskti

— NBA Retweet (@RTNBA) August 2, 2023

Winning is cool but earning millions of dollars to play a game you love seems like a massive W too.

Step 2: a Jimmy Butler story

Jimmy Butler is a living legend. Everyone has a new unique story about him. My personal favorite is Jimmy taking the rearview mirror out of his car because he doesn’t like looking in the past.

The first clip I saw of the Jeff Teague podcast was him explaining what happened at that Jimmy Butler practice where he teamed up with the bench players to beat the starters’ ass and then flew home to an interview with Rachel Nichols so he could tell everyone that he beat the starters’ ass.

The first clip I saw of the Paul George podcast was Karl-Anthony Towns telling that Jimmy Butler story.

The first clip I saw of the JJ Redick podcast was Jimmy Butler telling that Jimmy Butler story.

If you want to make a successful NBA podcast, you need to bring in a guy who has a Jimmy Butler story to make you go viral.

Step 3: generic white/light skin co-host

Look, someone has to be in charge of keeping the show on track and monitoring the time and such.

Patrick Beverley’s show would be unlistenable if that Barstool geek wasn’t there to laugh at the end of Pat Bev’s strange rants about how great he is or how great the 2021-22 Minnesota Timberwolves were—which is a topic Pat brings up frequently.

No one thinks about the 2022 Minnesota Timberwolves more than the 2022 Minnesota Timberwolves. Some weird shit went down in the locker room. I wonder who ate the cookie (It was obviously KAT).

Shout out Josiah Johnson for maintaining order on Gil’s Arena.

He’ll ask a simple question and over the course of about 3 minutes, Rashad McCants and Gilbert Arenas will be screaming at each other over an adjacent topic that no one asked them before Josiah steers the podcast back to the original topic.

I’m a big fan of Paul George’s co-hosts reminding him like, once a month, that Damian Lillard dotted his eye on the game-winner that knocked the Thunder out of the playoffs in 2019. It was a bad shot though.

Also quick shout out to DJ Wells from Jeff Teague’s podcast mostly just for following me on Twitter. Nothing but respect for the light skin god.

Step 4: a disruptive gambling ad

Look, it’s 2023. You can’t have a big NBA podcast—or any sports podcast for that matter—without getting that sweet, sweet gambling cash.

Every day there is a different player getting caught gambling on his sport but let’s sweep those under the rug and pretend there are no players or coaches or refs manipulating outcomes.

It’s legal now and generating bajillions of dollars. Let us all act like this bubble won’t burst and nothing bad can happen. Sure.

Mistakes to avoid: