Eric Bieniemy Has Earned the Right To Be a Mediocre Head Coach

Eric Bieniemy has one of the best gigs in sports. He has spent the last decade with the Kansas City Chiefs working under Andy Reid. Since 2018, Bieniemy has had the pleasure of being Patrick Mahomes’s offensive coordinator. I can’t think of an easier job. “Pat, go throw touchdowns”.

For years, Bieniemy’s name has been thrown out for every vacant head coaching position but he’s yet to ever be hired for any of those jobs. The 53-year-old has been the OC for 2 Super Bowl teams. Patrick Mahomes is coming off an MVP season and just set a new NFL record for offensive yards in a season with 5,614. This Chiefs team led the NFL in points and yards.

We’ve seen far less successful coaches be handed the keys to franchises like Kliff Kingsbury and Nathanial Hackett—both of whom were fired after this season while, once again, Bieniemy won a Super Bowl.

But for some reason, Eric Bieniemy is reportedly signing with the Washington Commanders to once again run the offense.

The #Commanders and Eric Bieniemy agreed to terms on a multiyear deal as their assistant head coach/offensive coordinator, his agent Jason Fletcher tells me.

KC wanted him back. But Bieniemy got an upgraded title, a chance to build his staff and a big commitment. pic.twitter.com/7FRR3a6qRW

— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) February 17, 2023

A less cynical man could look at this move to Washington and see that Bieniemy wants the opportunity to build his own offense outside of Andy Reid’s shadow where Eric can call all the plays and get all the credit. No one is going to praise Ron Rivera if the Commanders have a Top 10 offense.

It’s also possible that Eric Bieniemy doesn’t want a head coaching job at the moment which I guess is possible. Not everyone wants more responsibility at work. Some people want to clock in, do decent work, and clock out. The NFL head coaching world doesn’t have to be Game of Thrones if you don’t want it to be.

From the perspective of NFL front offices, there could be a belief that Andy Reid is in complete control of that entire offense and Bieniemy doesn’t do much. There are also rumors that Bieniemy is an atrocious interviewer and has strange vibes.

Former Chiefs running back, LeSean McCoy, has come out and said that Bieniemy argues with players and isn’t that smart of a football mind.

And I’d be remiss to ignore the fact that Eric Bieniemy has a lengthy ‘Legal Issues’ section on his Wikipedia page. He has had a DUI from 2001. In 1993 he was arrested on suspicion of harassing and assaulting a woman. In 199 he was arrested for a bar fight. He has countless bullshit suspended license violations.

So what’s the real reason Eric Bieniemy isn’t a head coach?

Racism. Duh.

Go through and look at everything I just listed. Has any of those reasons ever stopped a team from hiring a head coach?

Why should Bieniemy have to prove he’s a great offensive coordinator in Washington after leading the Chiefs offense to the Super Bowl 3 times in the last 5 years? Making it to the Super Bowl as the OC has almost always guaranteed a head coaching job.

In 2016, Kyle Shannahan was the OC for the Atlanta Falcons. In 2017, he was hired as the 49ers head coach.
In 2017, Frank Reich was the OC for the Philadelphia Eagles. In 2018, he was hired as the Colts head coach.
In 2018, Zac Taylor was the QB coach for the Los Angeles Rams. In 2019, he was hired as the Bengals head coach.
In 2019, Mike McDaniel was the RB coach for the San Francisco 49ers. In 2022, he was hired as the Dolphins head coach.

Shit, IN THE SUPER BOWL LITERALLY LAST WEEK, Shane Steichen was the OC for the Philadelphia Eagles and now he’s the head coach for the Colts.

If you noticed, I skipped a few years because the Chiefs were in the Super Bowl year after year and no one wants Bieniemy. Interesting.

It’s remarkable how easy it is for people to manufacture excuses for these front offices. Isn’t it interesting that Andy Reid gets all the credit for the Chiefs success yet Sean McVay and Bill Belichick are both considered ‘geniuses’ as well yet their staff gets hired weekly.

From Zac Taylor and Brandon Staley under McVay to Matt Patricia and Joe Judge under Belichick—significantly less qualified candidates have been given the opportunity to coach teams based solely on their proximity to greatness. Except for Eric Bieniemy whose proximity to greatness is somehow a detriment to him.

And I don’t want to let Bieniemy off the hook for the crimes he committed in his early adult life but this is the fucking NFL. There have been far worse humans hired and signed than this guy. Bieniemy’s biggest weapon—Tyreek Hill—beat his wife and kid and threatened them on tape and Hill will get to play in this league as long as he wants.

There’s something behind the scenes about Eric Bieniemy that isn’t being said so I’ll say what I think it is: EB is a weirdo and will most likely suuuuuck as a head coach.

And that’s the racism here. White guys like Adam Gase and Urban Meyer who are known weirdos get the chance to be head coaches and NFL teams trick their fans into believing they are fired up about these hires when they know they’ll stink. But Bieniemy isn’t allowed to fail.

Racism will continue to permeate throughout the NFL until black coaches are allowed to show up with terrible resumes, hot coffee breath, cheap suits and no idea how to run a team. Until there is a black Ben McAdoo, the NFL will always be racist.

Good luck to Bieniemy in Washington coaching for an organization that will have a new owner by this time next year and will look to clean house and hire their own front office who will then hire their own coaching staff thus leaving Bieniemy unemployed.

Can’t wait for that annoying news cycle where guys go on Get Up and passionately talk about Bieniemy while still being afraid to just look at the camera and say “old rich white guys don’t want to hire black people”.