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Either Kill Draymond Green or Shut The Fuck Up

Once again, Draymond Green punches another NBA player in the mouth and once again, he’s going to get away with it. I’m officially #TeamDraymond now.

draymond green

Draymond Green punched another player in the face again. I have nothing cute to say about it. Man just cannot stop beating the shit out of his opponents.

This time it was Jusuf Nurkic on the receiving end of another Draymond beatdown.

Draymond was ejected and the Golden State Warriors lost 119-116 to the Phoenix Suns.

The Warriors are now 10-13 and sit at the 11th seed in the West right ahead of the Utah Jazz.

Sick.

Draymond has 3 ejections this season.

Every game counts this year for this team and Draymond is clocking out early like I used to do at my old retail jobs whenever the sun was out.

This is my favorite of Draymond’s assaults. He perfectly connects fist to face with a spin move for extra power.

That’s how Eddie Kingston hit CM Punk.

It doesn’t look like an accident either. You could see his arm slow down to make sure he didn’t miss and swing past his head. He like, re-adjusts his arm mid-swing to catch Nurkic’s temple.

Draymond Green plays basketball like he spends his entire pregame workout shadowboxing with AirPods in listening to a pre-recorded tape of himself repeating “They’re out to get you. They’re all out to get you”, between key bumps of the most stepped-on cocaine ever.

Is Draymond Green uh…okay?

Green created his own value in the league when he didn’t really have any.

He can’t create his own shot with the ball in his hands but he figured out how to get away with setting the most illegal screens to get Steph Curry and Klay Thompson open.

He’s never been quick enough to guard anyone his size but he figured out how to lock down centers.

But now Klay Thompson is shooting 39% from the field and Andrew Wiggins is shooting 27% from 3 and Kevon Looney was never a shooter to begin with.

So Draymond is the 4th guy on the court who can’t shoot just making life hell for Steph who has to play 5-on-1 every night.

Draymond Green is slower (both physically and mentally), less athletic, and less engaged than he’s ever been.

Again, he’s been ejected from 3 games this season.

Draymond knows he’s becoming obsolete which means he’s more frustrated than ever but because the team is losing, he has nothing stopping him from acting on all of his wildest impulses.

And why would he ever stop? He’s established he has no problem ending a night early with technical fouls. At 35 years old, I’m sure he’d love another 5 days off to rest and chill with the fam. The NBA cannot do anything to stop this man

Why should I keep getting mad at Draymond when his peers don’t care?

Draymond Green punched his teammate out of his sneakers and the team didn’t even get mad at him. They were mad at the staffer for leaking the footage. He STRANGLED RUDY GOBERT. fucking RECENTLY. And all I ever hear about is his basketball IQ or some other vague, meaningless vibes-based intangible that magically cannot be found in a box score.

The NBA can’t really punish him because he’ll be the first person to turn himself into a martyr. Warriors fans are loud. It’s why Draymond never gets suspended long-term. Warriors fans would set the NBA offices on fire and they’ll do it in Festus Ezeli jerseys, man.

I’m tired of getting annoyed each time I see these egregious tackles and dropkicks at like, 11pm scrolling on Twitter followed by the entire NBA news cycle for the next 24 hours being entirely focused on how dangerous Draymond is—only for him to miss 3 games and go right back to doing leg drops off the top rope.

There’s only one way to stop Draymond Green…

Here’s The Only Way To Get Draymond Green To Stop Being an Asshole

Swing on this mouth-breathing sociopath.

Violence is wrong and all those disclaimers blah blah but why should I care about Draymond punching, kicking and choking everyone if the players themselves don’t care enough to punch, kick or choke back?

If NBA players had a problem with Draymond punching and kicking them every night then they’d be punching and kicking back instead of laying on the floor pretending they need a stretcher to carry them out so the refs will call a flagrant foul.

If someone at your job slapped someone else in the face every month and came back from their little one-week suspension smiling and pretending to learn his lesson only to slap another person a month—at some point—you or another coworker would slap back.

You guys hate Draymond Green so much? Do something about it or shut the fuck up.

But it feels like all parties involved are okay with this current system of nonsense. Draymond gets to punch guys and guys get their little free throws. Everyone seems to be okay with this arrangement.

From now on, I’m celebrating Draymond’s bullshit until someone does something about it.

This isn’t my problem. This isn’t my burden.

You’re not going to trick me into participating in the lamest discourse in NBA history. You will NOT make me feel bad for Rudy Gobert.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I was writing this before the NBA suspended him indefinitely but let me be very clear about this.

This isn’t going to stop Draymond from blacking out and karate-chopping a European big man.

This is only delaying the inevitable.

When Draymond gets back on an NBA floor, he is going to put Ivica Zubac in an armbar and say ‘he was trying to draw a foul” with a straight face in the post-game press conference.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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