New York, NY
The Boston Red Sox haven’t finished a season above .500 since 2021. 4 years of mediocrity. I thought this Boston winning every championhip bullshit was over. They shot Big Papi. The Red Sox dark magic had been vanquished. Their team owner, John Henry, started winning championships and immediately used the additional revenue to purchase everything. […]
The Pittsburgh Pirates stink. They’re only mentioned as background characters in the life of Paul Skenes—the best pitcher in baseball. Skenes is only 4-6 in his 14 starts, thanks to the bad team around him. Pittsburgh is 29th in runs—ahead of only the Colorado Rockies—a team that, at this point, I have to believe is […]
In 2012, Wade Miley was The Prince Who Was Promised for the Arizona Diamondbacks. In a textbook definied “average” season, finishing 81-81, 25-year-old Wade Miley looked like the type of player a front office just pencils into their rotation for the next decade. Here’s what Miley did back in ’12: 16 wins 11 losses 194.2 […]
Welcome to Crying in Baseball, Deadseriousness’s weekly baseball column, where I cry and complain about all things Major League Baseball. This week, we’ve got Juan Soto’s sad return to The Bronx, an automatic strike zone that may not be so automatic and the return of Pete Rose. Juan Soto: The One Who Got Away […]
The New York Yankees 2025 season ended in Spring Training following the injuries of starting pitchers Gerrit Cole and Luis Gil. Gerrit Cole was the 2023 Cy Young winner. He threw 12.2 innings in the 2024 World Series, holding the Los Angeles Dodgers All-Star-stuffed lineup to just 1 earned run. Luis Gil was named the […]
As a proud Houston Astros hater, I am highly invested in their failures which includes my devotion to watching Kyle Tucker Chicago Cubs at-bats after being traded from Houston over the winter. In 18 games with Chicago, Kyle Tuckers leads baseball with 23 hits, 19 runs scored, 8 doubles and 46 total bases with a […]
Growing up, you dropped the name “Ken Griffey Jr” at the lunch table, and all the 4th graders recognized you’re a ball-knower. You’d fall asleep to his highlights replaying on Sportscenter all night long on a loop. I always knew where my Ken Griffey Jr baseball card was—at all times. They claimed no one had […]
On Saturday afternoon, the New York Yankees turned the Milwaukee Brewers into the Milwaukee sewers—pissing all over them in a 20-9 beatdown—to the point where I was genuinely concerned Milwaukee may still believe these are just Spring Training scrimmages. The Yankees started the game hitting 3 consecutive home runs off the first 3 pitches. It […]
It wasn’t that long ago I was HYPED for the Yankees 2025 pitching rotation. They signed 2-time All-Star and World Series Champ, Max Fried, to an 8-year, $218 million deal. The Yankees had such a great rotation, they were letting Marcus Stroman’s phone calls go right to voicemail. That’s over. Pitchers and catchers reported like, […]
After decades of tyranny against male expression and individuality to manufacture some antiquated depiction of “class” and “professionalism”, the New York Yankees have finally ended their fascist policy against beards, allowing their players to now grow facial hair. High-ranking Yankees officials, including owner Hal Steinbrenner, spoke with a number of players and former players […]
Recently, Alex Bregman signed with the Boston Red Sox. Both the Red Sox and the Chicago Cubs offered Bregman the same contract but refused to defer the money—like every other top ball club does now—while telling their fans that they are struggling to break even. Cubs Jed Hoyer said he had manny, many emails and […]
Recently, the Boston Red Sox signed 2-time All-Star third baseman, Alex Bregman to a 3-year, $120 million deal with opt-out options after every season. Boston may have to exercise those options early as they already have a third baseman who they gave an 11-year, $330 million contract to in 2023 and who has no plans […]
Mariano Rivera may be the greatest pitcher of all time. I know he only pitched one inning a night but every pitch he threw landed in a mitt. You could not score runs against this alien. The New York Yankees don’t win all those championships without Mariano making professional hitters look like me in the […]
The 2024-25 NBA season started with the Boston Celtics blowing out the New York Knicks 132-109, tying the record for the most made 3’s in a game and creating the avalanche of indolent, concern-trolling about TV ratings and the NBA product being watered down by too many perimeter shot attempts. The NBA is fine but […]
As a Yankees fan, I’m conflicted. On one hand, I should be celebrating the arrival of Cody Bellinger. After missing out on Juan Soto thanks to an overzealous security guard cosplaying as Ethan Kopech from the new Netflix movie, Carry-On, the Yankees managed to take the billion dollars meant for Soto’s wallet and distribute it […]
Over the weekend, my wife and I were harassed by my wife’s boyfriend who could not leave me alone about Juan Soto choosing to take the New York Mets blood money over re-joining the most prestigious organization in professional sports and electing not to create a legacy for himself and his ancestors. Mets fans are […]
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