thelesterlee
Being an NFL GM during draft season seems like hell.
You have to sift through scouting reports of hundreds of players, all coming with their own unique circumstances and contexts. Random daily stories planted by 31 other GMs attempting to trick you into altering your plan or simply messing with your head.
All eyes are on your first-round selection, especially if you’re drafting in the Top 10.
The Atlanta Falcons won 7 games last season.
Desmond Ridder played like he could not believe the coaching staff kept asking him to go back out there. Like, imagine a construction company offering you millions to operate their crane and you have no idea how to use a crane. And no matter how many crane accidents you’ve caused, the company will not fire you. Desmond Ridder flipped the crane over. 3 people were hospitalized.
So the Falcons gave a 4-year $180 million guaranteed deal to a 36-year-old coming off achilles surgery. Kirk Cousins has 1 playoff win in 12 years but who cares? He knows how to use a crane.
99.99999% of the living world believed the Falcons were done adding quarterbacks to their roster, ya know, because of the $180 million guaranteed.
Then this happened…
With the 8th pick in the 2024 @NFL Draft, the Atlanta Falcons select Michael Penix Jr.!#NFLDraft: NFLN, ABC, ESPN pic.twitter.com/o99tXbilG5
— Atlanta Falcons (@AtlantaFalcons) April 26, 2024
So why did the Atlanta Falcons draft Michael Penix Jr.?
The Falcons could not pass up on a quarterback talented enough to have been drafted no. 2 after Caleb Williams.
Fuck it, Michael Penix highlights 🥶
pic.twitter.com/lJVDfChpmY— vacca (@VaquitaDawg) April 26, 2024
When he fell to 8, it was a no-brainer for Atlanta GM, Terry Fontenot.
If you ignore the reason why he fell to No. 8, it kind of makes sense.
Kirk Cousins is almost 40 and suffered an injury that has ended many-a-career.
Drafting a young, QB with a high ceiling and patience to wait on the bench for a couple seasons worked for Patrick Mahomes in Kansas City and Aaron Rodgers in Green Bay and Jordan Love…in Green Bay.
Michael Penix Jr isn’t a young QB with a high ceiling. He’s 24. Waiting a couple years means he won’t begin his career until he’s 26 or 27. And Penix is already scraping the top of his potential so he doesn’t need time on the bench to develop.
And that’s all before we even get into Michael Penix’s own injury history.
Penix has TWO torn ACLs and TWO torn shoulders. The Falcons needed protection in case their aging QB with a brutal injury can’t perform so they drafted and aging QB with brutal injuries who may not be able to perform.
They paid a bajillion dollars for a guy who is one crane accident away from a forced retirement and hired his new apprentice, who too, is one crane accident away from a forced retirement.
Unprecedented decision-making skills by Terry Fontenot. Haven’t seen this level of masterful discernment since Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems.
What are the unintended consequences of drafting Michael Penix Jr?
I hate talking about injuries. It’s football. Everyone has an injury history and everyone is hurt all the time.
However, I know how the NFL media operates.
If Kirk Cousins has a stinker Week 1, Stephen A. Smith—who will have watched exactly zero (0) minutes of the game—will open First Take demanding the Falcons bench Cousins for Penix Jr, leading to a week of discourse, awkward questions for head coach Raheem Morris and more and more Atlanta fans purchasing Penix jerseys.
By drafting Michael Penix Jr, the Atlanta Falcons placed Kirk Cousins under a microscope to be dissected every Monday morning. The fans will burn down Kirk’s house if he doesn’t throw for 400 yards and 4 touchdowns weekly.
The only way this work out for Atlanta is if Kirk goes undefeated or he retires by the time you read this sentence.
This is all Desmond Ridder’s fault.
Randon Stray Thoughts
- If you always remember to pronounce his name Pen-ix, instead of Peen-ix, you won’t accidentally keep calling him Michael Penis.
Ran into Kirk Cousins and found out we were neighbors 😂🔥 pic.twitter.com/FNUez1OMh8
— Dwight Howard (@DwightHoward) April 30, 2024
- I’d pay any amount of money to witness the shock and horror on Kirk’s face when Dwight Howard invites him over for one of his little ‘boy’s nights’.
Do you think this Michael Penix Jr Atlanta Falcons relationship will end horribly? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Cousins and Penix can co-exist.
