thelesterlee
Last year, I wrote about Bill Belichick breaking up with longtime girlfriend, Linda Holliday. I was mostly just using it as an opportunity to hit on Linda Holliday. I still am. Linda, if you’re reading this, call me.
But it’s on to the next one for big Billy Belichick as he is reportedly dating 24-year-old former cheerleader, Jordan Hudson. Apparently, the two met on a flight from Boston to Florida, connecting over Hudson’s philosophy classwork. I reckon if you need help remembering Plato’s writings, you should link up with a guy who was old enough to be around when Plato first came out.
Hudson was 21 when they met and Bill went as far as signing her ‘Deductive Logic’ textbook. Bill Belichick, who was 69 at the time, met a college student on a flight, mansplained philosophy to her, signed her book then humped her.
Very cool and normal behavior. Nothing troubling about this.
Oh and here he is sneaking out of this child’s home without his shirt:
🚨🚨 REPORT: The viral video from a few months ago showing a shirtless Bill Belichick sneaking out of a house was actually his new 24-year-old girlfriend’s home, according to The New York Post.
🤯🤯🤯
(🎥@BabzOnTheMic)
pic.twitter.com/Ta0DLGjsHA— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) June 19, 2024
WALK OF SHAME.
Considering the economy and her taking philosophy classes, I’m going to go ahead and assume Jordan Hudson lives with her parents while the greatest head coach in the history of professional football sneaks past her parent’s room shirtless to leave in the morning.
Wow, he thinks he’s me.
Last season was his final year as the head coach of the New England Patriots. 6 Super Bowls later and he was fired following a 4 win season. But no other team thought of hiring the GOAT.
Why doesn’t Bill Belichick have a coaching job right now?
It felt like organizations were hesitant to give a 72-year-old man total control over all football operations, the way Belichick ran things in New England. The current NFL game may have passed him by and at his big age, Bill couldn’t figure out how to adjust.
Belichick drafted Mac Jones and surrounded him with some of the worst minds in football. Matt Patricia was his offensive coordinator and Joe Judge was his QB coach. Neither man had any experience in those roles and had previously shown they were atrocious coaches ruining the Detroit Lions and New York Giants.
But it turns out, none of that was right. Bill Belichick doesn’t have a head coaching job right now because he’s wayyy too horny.
We’ve seen it with Urban Meyer that time he stayed in Ohio when the Jaguars went back to Jacksonville so he could get lap dances from college girls who were absolutely not his wife and now Belichick is helping little girls with their homework and jumping out of their bedroom windows before their parents ger up for work.
You cannot succeed in football when your head coach spends his free time at frat parties, making out with psychology majors and tip-toeing out of their sorority houses hours before Sunday’s opening kickoff.
Do your thing, Bill. It’s weird as hell but whatever. Shout out to Jordan Hudson for liking this elderly autistic Grinch. I’m sure they have a ton in common and already bought tickets to go see Chappell Roan’s next concert together. Bill’s a big fan, I’m sure.
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Is Bill Belichick too horny to coach in the NFL? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if Belichick is totally normal for dating a woman who was very recently a teenager.
