thelesterlee
I loved Aubrey Huff growing up.
Maybe it’s because I played MVP Baseball, using franchise mode to turn the worst organization into World Series juggernauts and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays suuuuuucked.
But yea, shout out my dudes Rocco Baldelli, Carl Crawford and Aubrey Huff—much love to Johnny Gomes and Scott Kazmir.
I know Aubrey Huff from hitting dingers.
Others might know him as the guy who nuked his Twitter account after getting exposed for sliding into a girl’s DMs on Christmas next to his wife and children.
Occasionally I’ll stumble down a rabbithole Twitter conflict goldmine.
Today’s is fantastic:
Retired MLB player calls out girl for thirst trap video. Turns out he had slid in her DMs on Christmas Day and he’s married.
He deleted his account. pic.twitter.com/Nf4o6oR5BQ
— Jack Raines (@Jack_Raines) January 1, 2024
Not the greatest look to call out a girl for posting attention-seeking photos only to spend your Christmas morning begging that same girl for a crumb of vagina while your wife and kids wonder why you keep staring at your phone instead of unwrapping your presents.
Did you know Aubrey Huff helped the Giants win TWO World Series??
Absolute legend.
Sure, he appears to spend all of his free time harassing women under the guise of showing strangers how masculine he is—which may be a strange thing to hyper-focus on instead of, ya know, your (former) wife and children—but hey, I care about things that may seem silly to other people too like Americans getting universal health care or OG Anunoby.
Well this week, I found out Aubrey Huff is back on Twitter and back to having very normal, regular, super cool interactions with women online.
Aubrey Huff saw a woman he definitely doesn’t follow presenting the idea that more women should attempt to run for office.
She didn’t even say “More women should be in office”. She simply suggested more run.
Naturally, Aubrey hit her with a super cool zinger, calling women too emotional for office before going back and forth with a new woman and hitting her with another fire zinger about women not being funny.
If this were, like, 10th grade, Huff would have the cafeteria laughing like hyenas. Very cool and regular guy.
I’m grateful everything I touch turns to gold. For example, I just got finished winning $22,000 in 15 minutes playing Blackjack.
Even my bedsheets turned gold last night from “wrestling around” with my newly spray tanned 28 year-old sexy fitness competitor I met in the casino… https://t.co/MqcXwuTVqv pic.twitter.com/JgRDfFrxxT
— Aubrey Huff (@aubrey_huff) December 2, 2024
Aubrey Huff then posted a video in response to this stranger, walking around a hotel room where he brags about being rich and handsome, getting a free room at a casino/hotel, winning a random amount of money playing blackjack and then having sex with a ‘fitness competitor’ whose spray tan was on his sheets.
Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy man.
Aubrey Huff would be like the KING at your local high school.
It is every teenage boy’s dream to go out alone all the time, gamble for about 15 minutes to win a fraction of his net worth, and then pay a sex worker to spend time with them so he can brag about having sex to all his friends.
I wish I could be just like Huff but unfortunately, I am surrounded by friends and family who love and support me.
Sucks.
Real alpha males manufacture their own realities—turning hitting the casino by themselves or purchasing female companionship—from super depressing and sad lonely divorced loser dork shit into ultra cool displays of freedom and manliness.
Guess what, real men are alone 24/7 with nothing to do but bother women on Twitter all day before DMing them pleading for sex.
High five, Aubrey. Nothing but love and respect for the man I am voting Most Likely To Become Waingro from the movie Heat.
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